Ask the Matriarch - Ministering to a Troubled Teen

Our question this week comes from a pastor who is trying to figure out how to minister to a young and troubled parishioner, while feeling some pressure from other parishioners about how to handle the situation. Our matriarchs have some wonderful responses. Read on...

I have a real problem in my area of teenage pregnancy, which of course goes along with drugs and alcohol. I have written to this column about it before, but I am under a great deal of pressure at the moment from some parishioners. There is a young girl (15 or 16) who used to be very connected with the church, a valued server in the sanctuary and really committed. Her family background is highly dysfunctional with parents divorced, one brother in jail for drug dealing and a sister who committed suicide (under the influence of drugs). Just over a year ago she began to use drugs and dropped out of school. We tried our best to keep her in church, with the bishop even making a special visit to confirm her as she had missed the scheduled confirmation because she was in care. In the last year we have seen little of her though occasionally she comes to church. 

On Christmas Day she was in church but did not take communion, and again the following Sunday. I immediately guessed that she was pregnant, and she confirmed this. (The ruling before I came was that unmarried girls who were pregnant could not receive communion till they had been to confession - I stopped that at once.) Today she was in church again and keen to join a new music group we are forming. But one parishioner has spoken very firmly about the fact that this girl is taking us for a ride and must be "disciplined" and that if she is allowed to join the music group she and her family will not support it. I'm sure she is not the only one who will take this stance.

The girl has assured me that she is no longer using drugs and has told me that after the baby is born she wants to go back to school. She says she is no longer in a relationship with the father. Maybe, maybe not. Her track record of telling the truth is not good.

The problem is that I can see the parishioner's point to some extent. The church should not be seen to be condoning what is a very prevalent problem in this place. But I feel very strongly that God's love is more important - that if we reject (or "discipline" this girl) we may lose her completely. But should there be some form of "tough love"? What would Jesus have done?  I also feel it is not up to me to judge if she is repentant or not - let's face it, anyone can make an empty confession! Apart from anything else, it seems to me that the message we are giving is that it's ok, do what you want and be accepted by the church, as long as you don't get caught!

Any advice would be welcome!

Jennifer offers a series of questions for reflection:

What is your congregation’s stance on becoming involved in addressing the problems teenagers and their families in your community are facing?

What does it mean to you and to those you serve to be a welcoming congregation?

What does it mean to be in relationship with the people you and your congregation already serve and people you’ve yet to meet who need you?

Do you find yourself with opportunities to reframe the conversation—is it really about this young person or about the issues in general?

Or is it just about rules around communion?

You and your congregation will be much in my prayers as you seek answers to what it means to be loving, prophetic disciples of Jesus.

Kathryn offers:

I remember you and continue to pray for you and your congregation. Your context is so much different than mine. I wish I had more complete and practical advice to give you, but all I can offer is: err on the side of grace.

This is so hard, especially knowing that the reward for doing so may not be seen by you or by any of your parishioners. It may not even happen in this earthly kingdom for that matter. Prayers ascending...

Anne reflects:

I heard a pastor talk about the child of drug addicts who died of an overdose.  The night the young boy found his parents dead, the pastor's family adopted him.  Just like that.  There were many lessons learned around the table in their home with this loud and lively addition to their family.  Everything from manners, to chores, to appropriate conversation, to love, care, and respect, to forgiveness, to responsibility.  The refrain from the pastor's mother that was often heard at the table was, "No, no, Roger.  We don't do / say that here."  That boy who had spent the first years of his life with addicts for parents, and no rules or regular meals, learned a whole new way of being, thanks to the lessons learned around the table.

Should the church be any different?  I pray that those who gather at our table are also learning lessons of love, acceptance and forgiveness.  If they aren't, they should be.

I am attaching a picture which I included in the slideshow I put together each year for our congregation to lift the ministries done in the life of the congregation in the last 12 months.  This slide I put in as a reminder of who we are and our responsibility to one another as a community of faith.

Should you accept this young woman into your praise team?  Seventy times seven times a resounding, "Yes!"  Will you get taken advantage of from time to time?  Undoubtedly.  Should that stop you from loving, accepting and offering new life?  Absolutely not.  Think of the story that young woman will tell when she has grown into a responsible adult.  

Blessings to you as you invite the congregation into a new learning curve of being the church.  It is, after all, what we are called to do.

Sue writes:

I see this as an opportunity for learning on the part of the congregation. I don't know your congregation of course, but I'm guessing that like all churches these days, they would love to see the always-coveted "young people" coming back to the church. You have one. Is she perfect? No. Are any of us? No. Is she in a terrible situation? Yes. Can you help her through it by showing her the love of Jesus? Definitely.

The congregation has the opportunity to show the radical healing love of Christ to a beloved daughter of God. I would focus more on that and less on the way it is perceived by others. I see compassion and condoning of behaviour as two separate matters. If we expelled from our churches everyone who has fallen short of God's best hope for us - none of us would be welcome. As for her repentence, while you can encourage her to confess, in the end it really is between her and God. With the church's support and care, she will grow into a spiritual place in life where she can truly repent. Without it, she may never know how to come before God in the wholeness of her being.

I'm unsure about what she has been "caught" doing. I don't see her getting away with anything here. There is no consequence to impose on teen pregnancy - teen pregnancy IS the consequence. This young woman will live with this pregnancy and its outcome for the rest of her life. Isn't that consequence enough?

This one is easy, in my view. Do what Jesus would do - forget about judgement and "discipline" - just listen to her and love her. Why else does the church exist but to help people who are despairing, lonely, and burdened by life's circumstances? It isn't for anyone in the pews to judge her for how she became pregnant - it's our job as Christians to show her compassion.

Rev Red advises:

This is a complicated scenario which I find is not uncommon in the church because human beings are complicated.  As I have pondered this situation, several items to discern come to mind.

1. We often find that a change in a person's pattern of worship attendance and participation otherwise in the church is related to a change in their life or a desire to change their life.  When I discover someone has not attended for several weeks a phone call is in order.

2. The described dysfunction in this young woman's family has to be a factor in considering how the church family reaches out.

3. The history of untruths should not be overlooked.

4. The church can be a loving as well as supportive place that also asks for accountibility.

With these thoughts in mind,  I hear in your description a young, probably scared, woman who is tryng, at least with her words and her desire to be involved, to make a change in her life.  It sounds as if the music group would be a good place for her. Is there a way to create a mentoring and/or accountability contract of some sort with her which must be met in order to be a part of the group?  This could be helpful not only in the music group, but also to help her feel support as she tries to put her life on a better path.  Peer and family pressure are probably pulling her hard back to her former path.  Her concern for the child she carries may be just enough to help her stay turned if she gets some strong support within the church body.

God's grace and love poured out for us in the gift of Jesus is our gift to extend to those we encounter in the world around us.  I hope that you will be able to find ways, whether in the music group or some other way, to share this with this young woman.

And Sharon writes: 

At the very least, please help them to see that she is a real person, not an "issue" or "statistic."  Please don't let this young woman (still a child herself, with child) become the scapegoat for the congregation's fears -- fears about what's going on in their community and fears about church being the kind of place where (gasp!) pregnant teenagers want to get involved.  They might even be afraid that someone will find out their own secrets and judge them. When you are warned that she could "take us for a ride," get them to identify what is really the worst that could happen if she is welcomed and loved.

Some possible ways to reframe the conversation:  

•                A great question that I heard the other day:  "What in your community is God crying over?"  Teen pregnancy and drug use might be one of those things in this community. If God is crying, maybe tears, rather than judgment, the best place to start.

•                What if, in the arrival of this young woman, God sent you a leader for your church's next mission field?  God has surely done more unlikely things through less likely people.  Youth ministry these days is ministry with youth, rather than ministry to (or for) youth.  What can you do with her?  

•                And there's always: What did Jesus do?  (Not "What would Jesus do?")  I would help them think theologically by asking: "What Bible story does this sound like?" (So many choices!)  Help them to see that God is most powerful when the hero of the story is someone who is outside the "approval zone."  Sometimes the hero of the story is a group of people drowning in fear.  Just sayin' . . . 

This could be an exciting opportunity to see God at work!  Or they may miss the good part altogether.  

I hope you can identify at least one or two people who are willing to risk some love actions.  Really, this young woman might just want to make some music, and maybe that will lead to some loving relationships.  I've heard (somewhere) that love has salvation power.  Could that be true?  In church?

--

Wow! Thank you, wise and wonderful matriarchs, for your good and faithful responses!

What about the rest of you? What thoughts do you have about ministering in this situation? Please join us in the comments section to continue the conversation. And, as always, please send us your questions for discussion at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com. Our queue is nearly empty, so we will be able to get to your question soon!

-- earthchick

Wednesday Festival: Lenten Images

Sharing the Lenten journey with others -- not only the general liturgical season, but a specific path through Lent -- is a powerful experience. I'm learning that lesson anew in my own congregation this Lent, as the whole congregation studies (and practices) Flunking Sainthood together. Around our RGBP community, many of us are sharing a Lenten path that is marked & measures by images:

• the yellow crocuses and the weeping of God, from Liz (Vicar of Dibley)
• the poetic blessing of being filled up when we might settle for emptiness, from Jan of Windswept Worship
• the vision of one's own reflection in the metal shine of an altar cross, from Kim at Sandpiper's Thoughts
• the long-dead organisms that literally shape the stones beneath our feet today, from Nancy (Seeker)
• the beauty of daily sacred moments, including (and especially) the faces of those near & dear to us, by Jenny at Called
• the spiritual journey as a dance and God as our dance partner, from Anita at Dreaming Beneath the Spires
• the vast space & possibility at the edge of the world, by jo(e).

A number of Gals & Pals in our network have embraced the Rethink Church photo-a-day challenge as a practice of paying attention through Lent. (I finally googled the trend after seeing it so frequently on Twitter and Facebook!) Visit River Song at Desert Spirit's Fire, Emily at Table Salt, Deb at Unfinished Symphony, Marie of Love is Strong as Death, and Purple of Purpletologically Speaking (just to name a few) for some snapshots of this Lenten challenge.

What images -- from your own blogging or from others' blogs -- are inspiring and encouraging your Lent? Share them here!

Blessings,
Rachel

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~~Figs, justice and grace/better late than never edition*

Almighty God, you know that we have no power in ourselves to help ourselves: Keep us both outwardly in our bodies and inwardly in our souls, that we may be defended from all adversities which may happen to the body, and from all evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. Collect for theThird Sunday in Lent Book of Common Prayer

We're approaching the midpoint of Lent, and the lectionary brings us increasingly challenging texts. Or so it seems anyway.  Our OT reading comes from the end of the section of Isaiah commonly referred to as "Second Isaiah," inviting the exiles to uproot themselves and return to their homeland. Commentator Patricia Hull at Working Preacher suggests with reading's emphasis on nutriion, preachers might consider  the economics of food and water today. In the NT reading from his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul reminds his audience not only to follow his example but also to learn from the mistakes of their ancestors and avoid idolatry, a great opening for us to consider what 21st century idols lure us away from God. 

In this week's gospel, Jesus uses the stories of two accidents to remind his followers that human suffering is not related to human virture or the lack thereof--it is not divine punishment for sin. Nonetheless, those who fail to repent are placing themselves in peril. The parable of the fig tree, which closes out this reading, offers a reminder of God's ever present grace, available for all of us.

Tough texts, preachers. Where are they calling you, half way through Lent? Do you have questions? Insights? Thoughts for a children's message? Join in the conversation and let us know where these readings (or otthers) are taking you.


*So sorry for the late posting; I am out of town at a workshop without my laptop, and fatigue conspired with my iPad to keep me from getting this up last night, and this is the first time I've had a chance today!

RevGalBookPals: I Heart Sex Workers.

You might ask, if everything was equal, everyone had shelter, food, clothing, and jobs they loved, would people still sell sex? In all honesty, I believe they would. Some people sell sex because of sexual desire. Some people would sell sex to get one step further up the food chain. Some people would sell sex because they like it.

If everything was equal, though, the desperation around sex work would diminish. Sex works would be less likely to trade sex in risky situations. They’d be less likely to ignore their inner voice that says, “Run!” when a client is violent. They’d be less likely to have sex without a condom and risks HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections. They’d be less likely to get into coercive relationship with pimps and more likely to keep more of their earnings. (44)

            By the time I reached page 44 in I Heart Sex Workers, I was completely drawn into the powerfully compelling book. I will read almost anything that’s sex positive, particularly from a fellow RevGal, and I’d been anticipating Lia Scholl’s book for months before I was able to get my hands on it. Yet, I could not have imagined how this book would challenge my (allegedly open) worldview and encourage me to reflect deeply on my own views regarding sex work, sex workers, and sex purchasers- along with a whole host of other topics.

            Paragraphs like the one above are carefully worded to bring the reader along a path of self-discovery that Scholl clearly traveled herself in her own years of assisting sex workers. Each book section begins with a midrash around a woman from Scripture who might have been involved in selling sex- either as result of her own choices or because of someone else’s choices. The creative telling of the stories of Tamar, Rahab, Hadassah (Esther), and the woman at the well set the stage for Scholl to explain various aspects of sex work and to expand the reader’s understanding of agency. Sex work is not a black and white world with clear causes and clear solutions.

            As mentioned above, people enter sex work for a variety of reason. Scholl makes clear that while sex trafficking is a real and genuine issue, it is not the most frequent cause or result of people choosing to trade sex. Sex trafficking might not even be the most pressing issue in your community with regard to sex work. Scholl writes that well-meaning people who want to help sex workers need to think beyond the parameters of trading sex.

If there is no poverty, women cannot be duped into sexual slavery. If there is no discrimination, sexual minorities can get high-paying jobs to support their families. If there is not greed, then governmental and societal safety nets can help those in real need.

Want to “solve” the sex industry? Seek to understand its multiple layers. Begin to understand the sexism, racism, ageism, transphobia, and discrimination against individuals with mental illnesses. Be sure to note the way those layers intersect with class, agency, and opportunities. (44)

            As individuals and groups reflect on their reactions to sex work in the community, it is important to consider both why different individuals are trading sex and what the correct response is. Knee-jerk responses like criminalizing the sex worker or setting up pyramids of rewards for “leaving” sex work do not actually address underlying issues and also do not respect the agency of people who choose to trade sex. A better approach to relational work with persons who trade sex is called “harm reduction”, Scholl explains.

Harm reduction works to minimize harmful effects, not ignore or condemn them. Harm reduction doesn’t believe that the circumstances of someone’s life are monolithic or black and white… It takes into account that there is potential and actual harm that comes from all of life’s experiences. Harm reductionists believe that “everything is overdetermined”, meaning that there are multiple factors that bring a person to where they are today… Harm reduction sees individuals as the primary agents in deciding their futures and sees to empower them by sharing information. Recognizing agency and not treating individuals as victims is very important. Victims don’t have agency. Survivors do. (143f)

            The discussion of harm reduction may be some of the most stunning writing in the book. Scholl’s reflections on the relationships between any two parties, particularly between advocates and sex workers, is enlightening. Is a sex worker struggling between fears of sexually transmitted infections and the fight to get each sex purchaser to use protection? Scholl describes the harm reductionist as one who would talk with the worker about offering to apply condoms with her/his mouth- a prospect that may make a recalcitrant sex purchaser less balky about protection. The harm reductionist understands that the worker’s current concern is protection from infection- not leaving the trade.

            By taking the current main concern seriously, an advocate builds a relationship with the sex worker based in the reality of the worker’s own agency and status as a human being. It sounds very simplistic to write that sentence, but in reading Scholl’s book, I have come to see how quickly sex workers are reduced to their trade, their history, their experiences, or their most recent decisions. Part of the life of faith is understanding, respecting, and advocating for the neighbor who is most difficult for you to understand. This advocacy is rooted love and affirmation of all persons standing in the light of God’s grace. Scholl writes:

If I hold you responsible for your past and assume that you will only act today in the way you have acted in your past, do I not deny your humanity in some way? Do I not deny you the human right to change? (112)

            Whether or not a sex worker chooses to leave the trade, she or he deserves (like all people) to know that there is a safe place to be known and loved. Scholl’s book is a lighthouse for any reader- illuminating dangerous shoals of assumptions and painful missteps that may wreck the voyage of support and journeying together. A person who chooses to stand with sex workers may well make mistakes, as any person in any ministry does, but Scholl has written a great guide to first steps.

            I recommend I Heart Sex Workers to everyone. Period.

Prayer for Lent 2C

Lord,  

you are the giver of light,
Come into the dark places of our lives and light our way.
Lord we are afraid,
We feel insecure and fear what lies before us.
Keep us safe, be our strong deliverer, protect us,
So that we are not overcome by these fears.

And Lord we will trust you.

We ask Lord that we get to live in your house
To see how wonderful you are and to spend time talking daily with you.
Lord we need your sanctuary, we need the quiet,
the place we can go to slow down and to take a deep breath.
Lord we all need the peace we can find there with you.
And we thank you for that peace and time we spend with you.

Lord,

Please listen to us when we pray
Hear our cry for those in need of prayer,
 those who are downtrodden—lift them up
Those who are ill—bring your healing touch.
Those who have lost a loved one---comfort for their sorrow.
Those who have felt rejected—acceptance and support.
Those who have become homebound, disabled, chronically ill, terminally ill, or
Gone into nursing care—send them your loving presence.
Be gracious to all Lord and answer our prayers.

Lord,

It is often hard to know which way to go in this world,
And so we ask that you teach us your ways.
Light the path well for Lord so we may see our way.
We may stumble and we may fall,
But pick us up, brush off the dirt,
bandage our wounds and send us back on your path.
And encourage us along our way as your believers.
Amen

 

cross posted at revgalprayerpals & rev abi's long and winding road

 

based on Psalm 27

11th Hour Preacher Party: Gathered together

As we make our way deeper into the season of Lent we come in the RCL and the Narrative Lectionary to one of those beautiful, but all too rare divine feminine images.  How wonderful to be gathered together in our pondering, prayer, and proclaiming as we are gathered under the wing of God herself.

Of course, in addition to this wonderful, but not necessarily easy Lukan passage, there are other great choices.  In the NL the passage includes the parable of the fig tree from earlier in the chapter.  In the RCL there is also the promise of God to Abram and Paul's encouragement to press on toward the goal.  Still others are working on their own series for the season of Lent.  Whatever you are doing, wherever you are going, there is a place for you in this preacher party.  May our time together throughout the day (and of course into the night) be sheltered by the wing of God.

Join us in the comments, lurkers and regulars alike!

It's a Frodo and Sam Friday Five!

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

===oOo===

In these last few weeks there's been all kinds of bad news. Tornadoes and a blizzard. Gun violence and a legislative body squabbling like toddlers over budgets, health care and who knows what else. For those of us in the US, it's tax season. Yuck.

We're only in the second week of Lent. Easter's a long way off. And here in the Mid-Atlantic region, the weather can't seem to make up its mind. Is it winter? Is it spring? Will it snow? Will it rain? Are my daffodils doomed if they actually BLOOM next week like they are threatening to?

So this week's Friday Five is courtesy of my good friends Frodo and Sam. Tell me 5 things that are good in our world. Or your world. Photos are a bonus.

Please play along and leave a link to your blog in the comments. You can learn how to create your own link here!

Ask the Matriarch - Pastor/Parish Differences

Our question this week comes from a situation which many pastors face at some point. Studies show that, in mainline Protestant traditions at least, clergy tend to be more "liberal" than their congregations. How do we, as clergy, deal appropriately with these differences? And how do we handle our own frustration with those differences? Here is our question this week:

Like many pastors, I find myself serving a congregation that is far more conservative, for want of a better word, than I am in every realm of life -- political, social, theological, and I'm sure there are others.  FAR more.

As I gain confidence in my sense of pastoral identity, I am increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with this situation -- not to mention feeling increasingly inauthentic and even dishonest. 

I've only been here, in my first midlife call, for about a year and a half, and there is a lot for any pastor to do here.  But just this week I've had conversations with a male pastor who told me that his entire 40 years of ministry have been like this -- and like him, I've had people say to me, "I've never heard of a pastor believing anything like that!"   --   is that to be my fate? (except not for 40 years!)  -- , and with a young person who wants to work at the interface of Christian ministry and GLBT youth, whom I would love to be able to invite into my pulpit to speak to my congregation, but for the fact that many of them would walk out on her.

I do sense that God called me here more for me than for the congregation; I have always lived in diverse and liberal communities and this is quite a steep learning curve for me.  But many of my convictions and associated gifts are being left far out to pasture (literally), and I am becoming restless.  I'm tempted to lay it all out for them after Easter, and let them decide: Do they want a pastor who wants to lead in the direction in which I want to go, will they tolerate her in exchange for the excellent pastoral care that they are receiving, or would they prefer to make a new leadership choice?

I'd very much like to hear other experiences and counsel.

kathrynzj responds:

I am grateful that you have gained confidence in your understanding of who God is calling you to be. In my experience as clergy and also working with clergy right out of seminary, I have found the first 9-36 months in a first ordained call to be a bit of a danger zone. There has been enough time for the rhythms of 'must do's' and 'also do's' to be worked out, but it is not enough time for congregation and pastor to 'get real' with one another. In my experience, the pastor is ready to get onto the 'hard/good stuff' and the congregation is still working on 'is she staying?'

Are they a hostile congregation? If that is the case, then there are other issues at play here than merely differences in political/social/theological understandings and you may very well need to look to other doors God may be opening. As far as drawing a line after Easter and finding out if they are willing to toss out their long-held convictions in exchange for your "excellent pastoral care" - I'm pretty sure I know where they'll land on that one. Suffice it to say, if you would like to move on to another place, there are far gentler ways of handling it. 

However, If you would like to continue working with them, I suggest leading them through loving them.   There may be some real opportunities here to make a difference - but those understandings and movements take time. In my experience of moving congregations gently forward (and I have spent the better part of over two years doing this), people win over policy 9 out of 10 times. For instance, this young person who wants to work with LGBT youth may not be welcome in the pulpit the Sunday after Easter 2013, but with time put in for conversation, education and relationship, they may very well be welcome after Easter 2014. Building relationships and changing minds and hearts takes time and prayer and a lot of foundational work, but in my experience, because it is foundational work, the results will be longer lasting and far more fruitful than telling people they need to get on board or else.

---

Wise and excellent counsel, Kathryn. I think that "lead through loving them" would make a great mantra for all of us, regardless of what frustrations or obstacles we're facing. To our questioner, I believe you have already named your primary asset for moving forward - the excellent pastoral care you are offering. In caring for them, you are building those relationships Kathryn points to as foundational to working toward change. 

What do the rest of you think? Have any experience or wisdom to share? Please join us in the comments section for further conversation.

Also! Our queue of questions is quite low! So please send us questions you would like us to discuss. You can write us at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

-- earthchick

Wednesday Festival: Lenten Reflections

In case you haven't been to church lately or you are not a liturgical nerd, a perusal through the RevGalBlogPals reading list will let you know that it is indeed the season of Lent. Personally, I love the season of Lent. It hasn't been (completely) taken over with commercialism and unlike the season of Advent, people often do take the time to slow down and pay attention to their spiritual needs. People tend to take Lent seriously. Despite not always understanding why they are giving up something, there is a connection beyond denominational ties, beyond a theological treatise, but a connection with the heart and spirit in this season.

We have some terrific writers and photographers among the RevGalBlogPals and I hope you will make some time to peruse their Lenten reflections.

Unfinished Symphony is participating in the "Photo-A-Day" Lenten Challenge. Be sure to check out her blog, not only today's (Evil) but go back to the beginning. It's powerful stuff.

journalling offers up poetry that redefines the meaning of wilderness

Mystical Midget shares her thoughts on forgoing Facebook

Spacious Faith asks us to consider spiritual illusions

Liberal Rev reminds us to consider all that the Mexican people have done to literally build up our country in this time that our government considers immigration reform. Scroll down and read the humorous and touching stories of Clarence Jordan.

Dreaming Beneath the Spires questions idolatry and art

Lastly, I leave you with a quote from Barefoot Theology

You, my dear human being, are not God. You, busy person, are not immortal. You, who can do so much and command so many, will go back to the dust. Thank God. While human mortality can be stunningly difficult to accept, especially the mortality of those we love, it is a blessing. We, frail creatures, are not all powerful; we're not even very powerful. We're really rather fragile, helpless. Without one another, we would very quickly wither away. Without God, we would simply cease to be.

Ash Wednesday, and Lent, is perhaps God's best way of telling us to set down the world. Set it down, and let someone infinitely more qualified carry it instead.

Now, go back and read the whole post--it's worth it!

This is just a sampling of the wonderful posts...if you come across other "must-reads" please post them in the comments. And don't be shy--if YOU have written a must-read, please share a link in the comments!

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~~Jerusalem, Jerusalem!

O God, whose glory it is always to have mercy: Be gracious to all who have gone astray from your ways, and bring them again with penitent hearts and steadfast faith to embrace and hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word, Jesus Christ your Son; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

                                                                                                   ~Collect for the Second Sunday in Lent, Book of Common Prayer    

On this second Sunday in Lent we find Abram (not yet Abraham) deep in conversation with God, and Jesus engaging the Pharisees, hopefully fruitful contexts for preaching. 

Way back in Genesis 12, God has promised Abram and Sarai that their descendants will be as numerous as the stars, despite their childless state. With no pregnancy in sight, Abram has declared that he will make his nephew his heir, but God isn't liking this plan, and so he comes to Abram and renews his promise. The story of Abram/Abraham and Sarai/Sarah is one of waiting for all good things, and the necessity of patience, among other things. Is it speaking to you in this Lenten season?

 Jesus, on the other hand, is engaging earthly powers. The pharisees, who have dogged Jesus since the beginning of his ministry, have come with a warning that Herod wants to kill him, but Jesus offers a bold rejoinder with his  poignant lament over Jerusalem recognizing the inevitability of his death as a part of his ministry.

Paul's letter to the Philippians offers a note of encouragement for those attempting to lead lives of faith, reminding them that "our citizenship is in heaven." So many of us are in struggling congregations; how might Paul's words embolden encourage us?

Where are the readings leading you this week preachers? Are you in the midst of a Lenten series, or are you following the Narrative Lectionary?  Join the discussion and let us know what you're thinking, what  you are wondering, where you are feeling stretched or stymied. Everyone is welcome!

Monday Extra: Lenten Practices

My dad does lapidary work--shaping and polishing stones--as a hobby. (We made sure he had hobby equipment when he retired a few years ago.) So I have an array of cross necklaces set with agate, petrified wood, sodalite, malachite, parrot wing. Even the names of the stones are beautiful.

As a Mennonite pastor, I don't wear a collar or a robe or a stole. These necklaces from my dad have become my liturgical mantle. I enjoy choosing one each Sunday morning. Which one matches my clothing? Which matches my mood? Is it a Sunday for a big cross or a smaller cross?

But during Lent, I wear an old wooden cross with a worn cord. Every Sunday. Whatever I'm wearing. Whatever my mood. It's the wooden cross.

This is not a big thing. And it is not my only thing. But it is one way that I try to set this time apart. To make things a little bit less about me. A little bit more about God. For just a little while.

What about you? What Lenten habits ground you? What disciplines have you accepted for this season?

~Joanna Harader

Prayer for Lent 1C

Lord,

You are our fortress, our place of safety;
you are our God, and we trust you.”

We seek to live in your presence,

and stay in the shadow of the Almighty

Lord spread your wings over us like a mothering hen,

Protecting her babies.

We have nothing to fear living in your faithfulness.

Though circumstances become tough, illness strike us,

Death comes our way, whatever befalls us we have nothing to fear.

 We know this because you God, are our refuge.
and our sanctuary.

Though temptations come to lure us from small

Ones to big ones, though evil one looks like he is winning the day;

We can trust in you.

No matter what happens in life we can hold on to you Lord,

Because we know you are with us, caring for us, loving us, and delivering us.

Lord, we can call on you anytime and anywhere

And we can believe and trust that you will answer.

You alone are our refuge, our place of safety;
you are our God, and we trust you.

(Based on Psalm 91)

cross posted at a place of prayer and revabi's long and winding road

11th Hour Preacher Party: "Survivor" Edition

"You look tired today, Pastor," and it was only 11:00 on the Friday morning after Ash Wednesday.

His assessment was correct.  Let me count the reasons.  Or not.  

For Lent is only a few days old.  The journey is just beginning.

I'm not complaining . . . really. . . 

Extra worship services and small-to-middling church "issues" are so very do-able compared to being stranded on a crippled cruise ship. News stories about Carnival's ironically-named "Triumph" prompted my imagination to generate images of "Survivor" being played out aboard a cruise ship.  Sanitation crises and food shortages cancelled the sushi parties and trivia contests.  The waiters weren't dancing and singing, and no deck was a "Serenity Deck." Were they really serving 'Onion Sandwiches'?

What's an extra Ash Wednesday service or two compared to all that?  Right?

As it happens, on the RevGal cruise, Rachel Hackenberg gave this week's gospel text (Luke 4:1-13)  to our group as a writing prompt. In the tradition of the Six Word Memoir Project (like this one), we were to write a six-word gospel.  I forgot to write down the one our group came up with together, but I had brainstormed these:

Went out, Roughed up, Left saved

For the Love of God, "No!"

Desert hazing by Evil; passed test.

You can sign up here to receive, each day by email, your very own prayer prompt from Rachel! 

WELCOME to the Lent 1C 11th Hour Preacher Party! 

So happy that you are here!

An extra-special welcome to any new RevGals or any of you who are posting for the first time!

Please, let us know how you are doing and what's going on in your world.

Offer preaching inspiration, or ask for some help.  

We will read your rough drafts and finished sermons.  Link them up!

Let us know how we can pray with you and pray for you. 

We love personal stories and sermon illustrations and jokes and children's time ideas.

Bring a snack to share!

The coffee pot is always full of fresh, hot, delicious -- always Fair Trade -- caffeine-ation.

Let the party begin!

Friday Five: Lent

1. Oddly this year, the second day of Lent was Valentine's Day. How was this for you? Was Valentine's Day any different being in Lent?

2. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday this year? Any memories of memorable celebrations past?

3. How about Ash Wednesday, past and/or present?  

4. Do you have a personal plan of give-ups, take-ons, special ministries, and/or a special focus for your own spiritual growth between now and Easter?

5. Do you have a book or a website you are reading often during Lent?

Bonus:  Song, prayer, picture, etc. that sums up your feelings about this liturgical springtime.

Let us know if you played! Here's the place where you can learn how to leave us a link... 

 

Ask the Matriarch: Writing Prayers

Today’s question comes from a pastor who writes her own prayers. One of her questions is about working with someone who may not share the same theology and assumptions about prayer. She also would like to hear from others who write their own prayers.

Dear matriarchs, 

I am an intern-minister at a small congregation in Vancouver Island in Canada.

I've recently found out that when I write prayers myself for each Sunday worship, especially Call to Worship and Opening Prayer (or Prayer of the Day), it can really touch people's heart and communicate something greater than when I borrow someone else's very well-done prayers. 

I think it may be mainly because my own prayer contains the element of locality, the congregation's emerging issue and the day or the week's concerns and shows a kind of common spiritual culture or landscape we share as a congregation.

English is my second language, so I am helped by a congregant's volunteer in editing. Sometimes I find that she may misunderstand and may not always fully reflect what I originally intended to say. Her understanding of prayers may be different from mine, and so our theologies are. But I begin to be convinced, nevertheless, that I receive and share great benefits if I keep writing my own prayers for each Sunday worship service. I got very good responses, sometimes. I am very glad to discover that this practice is very rewarding and great. It helps me redefine and refine my spirituality, theology and languages; but at the same time it does take time, leading me to wrestle with languages, of course more time than native English speakers would need.

I'd like to ask seasoned ministers and worship leaders who write prayers for each Sunday worship about what is the greatest strength they have found with this practice and about whether they would recommend this practice, no matter what. If yes, then I'd really like to hear why.  

Dear matriarchs, would you like to help me to get some responses from this wonderful circle of sharing wisdom. 

Blessings.   

Several matriarchs responded that they didn't have advice this time because they don’t often write their own prayers for public worship.  Here are two thoughtful responses from RevGal matriarchs who offer encouragement from their experience in writing worship prayers.  

Rev. Red offers this advice:

Your questions have taken me on a journey back to the beginning of my pastoral ministry.  One of my fears as I started out was that my prayers would not be "good enough".  Some weeks I spent more time writing my prayers than I spent on my sermon.Writing the prayers also helps me focus my sermon when I was having a hard time developing it's thesis.  The result was and has been that my prayers have ended up being a strong part of my ministry.  I often have people, both men and women, comment that my prayers touch them because of the language and images they use as well as their relevance to the current moment. I no longer spend as long writing my own prayers and other liturgical elements as I did at the beginning of my ministry, but the time spent then helps me today. I have both overcome my fear and also built a strong spiritual base and language for those times when I am asked to pray with little or no advance notice.   I believe that writing our own prayers and liturgy do help us to reflect theologically and frame the whole worship service with them.  I hope that you will continue to take time to write prayers and liturgy.  I know that it will bless you both now and in the future.

Shalom,  Rev Red

Jennifer also writes her own prayers:

Good for you for adopting the practice and the discipline of writing prayers and having them translated!  That’s amazing and wonderful! What a gift to your congregation!  To be sure, it is also a time-consuming process, and it sounds like it’s worth it.

It sounds like your translator may be offering some interpretation in addition to translating. I wonder if that’s a conversation to have with your volunteer. It may lead to a closer translation and to the intended words.

I’m a writer of my own prayers, too, and I encourage others, when they are joining in worship leadership to consider writing or praying their own prayers. I think there’s something special about hearing an authentic voice, and as you mention, the references to what’s going on in a community’s life.

Would I recommend it? Of course!!  Would I recommend it, no matter what?  I think the next best thing is to adapt the prayer of another, still striving to offer words that seem natural and authentic from the one leading the prayer. I’d be sure to give credit for such in the bulletin.

Whatever your practice around prayers and liturgy, I’m sure that the practice of preaching in a second language is arduous, too. May it all continue to go well for you and the congregation you serve.

Jennifer

anorientationofheart.blogspot.com

Thank you, Rev Red and Jennifer!

Do you write your own prayers?  What advice can you offer the rest of us who might like to?

And, do you have any experience with “mistranslation” or unfortunate editing?

Please let us hear from you in the comments!