Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~Peace I leave with you edition

Living God,
long ago, faithful women
proclaimed the good news
of Jesus' resurrection,
and the world was changed forever.
Teach us to keep faith with them,
that our witness may be as bold,
our love as deep,
and our faith as true. Amen.

 By the time we actually preach this week's sermon it will be May, and hopefully spring, but liturgically we are still in the midst of Easter, which means our lectionary readings continue to be drawn from Acts, Revelation and John.  This week in Acts we find an account of Paul and his traveling companions in the act of discerning what Paul's vision means; They set out for Philippi, a Roman colony, where they encounter the faithful Lydia. journeying, ending up in the house of Lydia.

Our reading from the Revelation of John presents us with a vivid picture of the New Jerusalem. I cannot hear this reading without also hearing, "Shall we gather at the river?" My favorite rendition by the Miserable Offenders is now available on iTunes, but this version by Anonymous 4 is hauntingly beautiful as well.




The lectionary provides us with a choice of gospel readings this week. Our first option continues Jesus' farewell discourse to his disciples. Jesus reassures his faithful followers that that he will send an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, to empower them, and he promises them peace even as he leaves them behind. The alternative gospel reading, also from John finds Jesus outside the Sheep Gate going in to Jerusalem where he heals a lame man who lies by the gate, telling him to "Stand up, take your mat and walk."

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Where is the Spirit leading you this week?Will you explore Lydia and the ministry of women in the early church? Are you drawn by the images of paradise in the form of the New Jerusalem? Perhaps you are seeking the peace Jesus promises. Share your ponderings, your inspiration, your questions with us.

Moving Prayers

Beginning next Monday, the prayers that have been posted at RevGalPrayerPals will move to this blog. Our other features will continue, so there will be more than one post here most days of the week. We are grateful to our prayer blog team for the content provided and think it's worth sharing more widely. Links will appear on Facebook just as they do for other posts on the blog.

We want to thank Terri Pilarski, who managed the prayer blog for the past several years and adorned it with her beautiful photographs. Terri has also been one of our Sunday Prayer bloggers. She is stepping down from both those positions, but will continue as a Preacher Party host. Terri also recently completed a term on our non-profit board. Terri, thank you for all you have done and continue to do for RevGalBlogPals!

We're also happy to announce that Rachel Hackenberg will be taking Terri's place on Sunday Prayers, joining Abigail Carlisle-Wilke. We're grateful for the ministry their prayers will continue to provide.

Easter 5 C Sunday Prayer

Oh God who created all things including humans, we praise your name for you faithfulness.

We praise you just as all of the creatures of the earth sing your praise.

We look forward to that day when we live with you in our eternal home.

In the meantime come make your home in us.

Come into our neighborhoods, our work places, our schools.

Come live in us Lord.

We await the day when every tear will be wiped away and there will be no more grieving.

In the meantime Lord, wipe our tears when we do mourn our losses, like those in West Texas after the explosion.

We look for the day when there will be no more sickness, in the meantime when we are ailing bring your healing touch to our lives.

We look for the day when all things will be new,

 in the meantime renew our tired land, our old falling down housing, our broken systems, our empty spaces of worship and our aging bodies.

We await that day Lord, when your justice, your love, your mercy rules and thy kingdom has come.

Amen

cross posted at A Place for Prayer and revabi's long and winding road

11th Hour Preacher Party: The beginning and the end edition

How can it not be about love? - is my question this week. Love and inclusion. It seems natural that the notion of inclusion rocked the early church whose adventures we read of in Acts. What is desperately sad is that the same idea discombobulates(my new favourite word!) the church of today.
What part of "Love one another" (John) do we simply not get?
Will you be pondering that mystery this week, or are you going with the Alpha and the Omega from Revelation. There, too, we find inclusion and "all things being made new".
Are you off Lectionary to concentrate on a particular theme or have world events steered your preaching elsewhere?
Whatever you are wrestling with, whether you're flinging wide the gates to welcome folk in or getting out there with the water of life, come and do it with us. Share your food and your thoughts, ask questions, share ideas and, together, we'll preach these texts all over the world until "every tear is wiped from every eye".
Check out Tuesday's Lectionary Leanings and Starters for Sunday for some more thoughts.
The table is set and I'm borrowing another awesome RevGal's phrase - "If you don't see what you need, just ask". (Thanks, Sharon)

Friday Five: April Showers Bring May Flowers

Recently having driven from Corpus Christi to Houston to Austin and back to Corpus Christi, Texas, we saw the effects of rain and drought on the byways. South Texas is in a severe drought situation, but the route between Houston and Austin was graced with some recent rainfalls so that wildflowers were abundant. Otherwise, there were few to be seen.

With the old adage "April showers bring May flowers," let's look at the weather and vegetation in our home areas to see if any May Flowers will be blooming.

1. What spring flowers and plants do you see? Or will see sometime in the future?

2. What kinds of weather are you experiencing in April?

3. What are the stereotypical harbingers of spring in your area? How about where you grew up?

4. What season do you like best in your home area?

5. What is sprouting or blooming in your life? What do you wish for?

Please remember to put a link in the comments so we will know how to visit your Friday Five. Go here to learn how to do this.

Ask the Matriarch: When They Won't Let You In

This week we hear from a pastor trying her best to create relationship with two congregations and finding one more receptive than the other.

I am the pastor of a two-point charge. My predecessor had excellent ministry at the smaller church (10-15 in attendance) and a very difficult ministry at the larger church (35-40 in attendance). I won't get into the varied and sundry reasons for that. Anywho, things are going fairly well for me at the larger church, but not so much at the smaller church. I think that they are still in mourning for the previous pastor, and while they're being genuinely nice and friendly with me and have affirmed me as a compassionate, caring, and gifted pastor...a few members of that church have shared with me that they don't feel "moved" by my sermons, are disgusted and jaded by the way the larger church treated my predecessor, and I get the sense that they're afraid to let me "in" and have lost their passion for ministry as a result. I'm struggling with how to lead them through this period, bring them to a place of healing and acceptance, and get them to let me "in"...all the while being authentically ME. Any thoughts on how to do this? Have any of you experienced this before?

Here are some thoughts from Shelly McNaughton-Lawrence, pastor at Aldersgate United Methodist Church in Olathe, KS, who has been in ministry 25 years:

I've served two two-point churches and one three point charge in my career as a United Methodist pastor.  I've always found that one church is always more accepting and receptive to my ministry than the other church in a charge.  There is built in competitiveness with these multiple point circuits and when you add small community gossiping to the mix there some about of unpleasantness which can occur.  When I have been faced with this set of circumstances I work on keeping my anxiety in check because the upset church is expressing their grief, frustration and helplessness within the appointive system.  I've used Creating a Healthier Church by Ronald W. Richardson to work with the churches to express their feelings and hopes for the church in a more productive fashion. I find working on some of the family systems/church systems ideas is very helpful in these situations.

When people are saying things like, "I'm not moved by your sermon,"  I think it is another expression of grief.  I liken it to when a beloved character leaves a TV program, like Downton Abbey. Everyone is upset and convince the show will never be the same, but life really does go on and the viewer adjusts to the change in time.  Time, patience and taking up Tae Kwon Do to release your frustration are helpful tools for living into the new ministry you will be leading these churches into.

Another Methodist Matriarch, Sarah, blogging at Sarah's Space, suggests:

For many in two-point charges there is an unspoken rule that "If you like them, you can't like us." It often functions like a classic triangulation pattern in relationships especially in two-point charges that have been paired for a long time. The churches may not even have an awareness that they act in those ways. 

It also sounds like, by comparing you to the former pastor, they are attempting to triangulate you with an idealized version of him. Is the former pastor someone you could talk to? If so, ask him about the church and the key folks there. 

Sometimes the smaller church on a charge feels like they have no say in anything so when they finally connect with a pastor it is harder on them when that pastor leaves. Their grief may be keeping them from welcoming you in immediately because they are still struggling to let go emotionally from the pastor with whom they finally connected.

Coming from a different denominational angle, but with equal small church smarts, is Muthah+, who blogs at Stone of Witness:

Oh, yes.  I know this conformation.  It was my first charge and I was always being played off by one parish or the other.  I finally got the 2 parishes who had been yoked for 150 years to separate at the end of my tenure there.  It was the yoke that kept both of them sick.  And while they are both part-time parishes today they are healthier and are about the ministry in their areas.

If both of your congregations act like chaplaincies, then it may be ok.  But the larger parish will most likely treat you like a pastor and the smaller one like a chaplain.  If you can keep it like that, it may work.  But it sounds like your predecessor was 'pastor' to the smaller parish and now the smaller group wants you to be pastor to them too.  The problem with be a pastor to both is that they both will want you for their own. As one of my colleagues who also had yoked congregations said, he felt like he was having an "affaire." This is common in yoked situations. 

These 2 congregations are separated for a reason.  They need different things and they need you to be different among them. If they were alike they would have unified a long time ago. If  you can figure out what each parish needs and be quite intentional about supplying just that, you may be successful in both.  It will take some real intentionality. But you will feel like you are a multiple personality!  If you can be clear for yourself that in one parish you function as a pastor and the other a chaplain, it will help you stay clear of their expectations for being their 'own'.

I have never quite understood why judicatories yoke churches that are quite different and expect that one pastor serve both.  It is crazy making at best.  What you need to know is that it is not you that is causing the problem even though they will lay it at your feet.  Secondly, be clear as to what you can offer each community and what you cannot. 

Last, from yours truly, blogging at Reflectionary:

Lyle Schaller characterized very small churches as Cat Churches in his classic book, Looking in the Mirror: Self-Appraisal in the Local Church. In my experience, he's right. Cat churches really only want us for the basics: food (Communion), water (Baptism) and taking away the dead (funerals). The family life of the congregation is interior and mysterious, just like the personality of most cats.

Now, the occasional (actual) cat will love you, wholeheartedly and affectionately. And some will do so mostly, then bite you when you least expect it. But most will treat you like a roommate who is convenient for material purposes such as food, water and heat, but not of great interest otherwise.
What this means is the cat congregation may never have a personal relationship with the pastor. That also means the things they complain about are almost never actually personal, even if personal details are part of a complaint. Your role in relationship to them is that of chaplain, according to Schaller. If you did CPE you'll know that means taking them on their terms, and supporting the spiritual forms that work well for them. That's an extremely unromantic, non-mystical form of ministry, but it's reality in a lot of very  small congregations. It's not unworthy; it's just not what they taught us to look forward to in seminary.

Faithful readers, do you have anything to add? Please share your thoughts in the comments. 

And as of this writing, our queue is empty, If you have a question for the Matriarchs, please send us an email by clicking on this link: Ask the Matriarch.

Wednesday Festival: Beauty

Recently I attended the presentation of three Doctoral Projects by D.Min. students at a nearby seminary. One Reverend almost-Doctor shared her reflection & research on the function of art in congregational life. As a premise, she noted that the Platonic understanding of the Divine includes the Good, the True and the Beautiful. The Church exhibits the Good in justice and the True in doctrine, but (she asserted) the Beautiful is often unattended ... and her challenge to attend to the Beautiful lingers with me.

So today, highlights of beauty around the RGBP community:

Beauty for the eyes of your soul in the artwork of Wayne Stratz

and in the art- & dirt-work of children at church.

Beauty for the heart of your soul in a remembrance of a mother 

and in the sacrificial dedication of a church lay leader.

Beauty for the comfort of your soul in the reminder of transformation 

for a new heaven & a new earth.

Beauty for your home in this delightful headboard 

and a treat fresh out of the oven.

Where is beauty surprising you? How is beauty delighting you and drawing you toward the Divine? Share your links and comments!

Blessings, Rachel

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings - Unconditional Love Edition

Good afternoon,

It's Juniper, stepping into (and hopefully not on) the shoes of our regular Lectionary Leanings folk today.

Personally, I'm deep into a series on Revelation and going that direction this week. Although some people have expressed disappointment that we are just blowing past all the exciting parts that the lectionary skips in chapters 7-20, I'm looking forward to exploring the idea of God coming to earth to dwell (or to tabernacle?  who knew THAT was verb?) with us.

But in reviewing the other readings, I'm wishing I was doing a series on Acts instead.  Peter's vision! So much wonderfulness.

Or, perhaps you will focus on John's beautiful commandment from Jesus to love one another.  And if so, are you singing the old camp favorite?

Whatever you are up to this week, let us know in the comments.  You can find links to all the Easter 5C texts here.  

RevGalBookPals: The Underground Church edition

            Last week was a horrible week. The Boston Marathon bombing and the subsequent hunt for the perpetrators, the plant explosion in West Texas and the information that it could have been prevented, the force-feeding of prisoners in Guantanamo (made more public) and the realization that nobody intends to stop, the earthquake in China, bombings in Iraq and Somalia. It was a rough week. It was particularly poignant in a time where we are inundated with tragedies. In the information age, we are awash in the stories that are both far and near. The world is our neighborhood and the alert pastor can scarcely become coherent for the prayer chain or email, before the next crisis comes in, and it is time to reframe again.

            One of the worst things to come out of this glut of prayer need is how impotent even the best of us can feel. Those of us whose faith is carried in our feet and our hands feel drained. What next? How do we help now? What collection/drive/prayer vigil will stem this tide of longing for God and God’s peace? We know Jesus is on the ground, acting, and Jesus’ people aren’t far behind.

            Still, the church struggles for relevance in this age of fear- to make a statement about what it means to live and die in Christ. In The Underground Church: Reclaiming the Radically Subversive Way of Jesus, Robin Meyers says, “Of all the reasons given for the decline of the church in our time, the number one reason is often left unsaid: no one really expects anything important to happen.” (4) As I read this last week, I wondered how much that is true. How many of our churches are filled with butts in seats that want to preserve the pleasant backdrop for their

funeral or the wedding of their child or the baptism of their grandchild? God still does great work through God’s church, but do we expect it? Are we willing participants? Do we crave subverting the culture and empire for the sake of the cross?

            Meyers says we cannot answer that longing by trying to perfect our doctrines and creedal statements:

How odd that the word faith and the word certainty should be joined when absolute certainty eliminates the need for faith. Absolute certainty, by definition, is orphaned from grace. In needs nothing beyond itself. It is entirely self-possessed. Certainty turns truth into dogma and goes through life in search of question marks that can be turned into periods- or, better yet, exclamation points.  (116)
 

            Instead of arguing until we’re blue about who is wrong about what, we must come to understand that there is a politics of the gospel. It is clear and it is the place around which we are specifically called to bring light to the world.

Here is a point of convergence for liberals and conservatives around what seems like an impossible divide. Whereas conservatives have often claimed inerrant scripture or infallible tradition as authoritative, liberals often retreated into a kind of postmodern ethical relativism that forbids them to judge any idea as better or worse than another idea- just different. So let’s be clear about something. In the Underground Church, we do not expect complete doctrinal agreement, but neither do we believe in a world of equally valid ideas or behaviors. Peace is better than war because life is better than death. Children need protection. Either all of us matter or none of us do. Idolatry is the mother and father of all sin. Loving the neighbor, not one’s opinion of the neighbor, is closer to the heart of God. Welcoming the stranger is not optional. (119)
 

            The main premise of The Underground Church is that faith is our actions coupled with our trust in God to use and perfect those actions. The main arguments in any church are (most of the time) about things that do not matter in the light of the needs of the world.

Likewise the purpose of a church that functions subversively is not simply to confirm or to inspire but to undo people. The ultimate objective of preaching is not to score performance points or create a fan club but to create in everyone present the feeling that the more one trusts in the basic equation of the gospel (we lose out lives in order to find them), the more obligated we feel to let go of the sickness that is self-sufficiency. Me, Myself, and I is the unholy trinity. Looking out for number one is the anti-gospel. Enough is never enough will ultimately be enough to do us all in. (223f)

            We recently read this book for my congregation’s book club. The people who read the book loved it. The conversation lasted over 2.5 hours. They were very taken with Meyer’s ideas around the church’s call to be different and difference in the world. His unfolding of the subversive nature of the early church- its resistance of Rome, its countercultural meetings, its willingness to put the imitation of Christ above all things- is very new to some ears and a powerful siren call to those who’ve heard it before, but forgotten.

            Even if you suspect this might not be for your congregation, it is time for you to read this book for yourself. It is time to be reminded of our call to be different and to do so at all cost. In a time of darkness and deep sadness, the world needs the call of peace, of neighbor love, of radical forgiveness (in other words, the message of Jesus) now more than ever. Robin Meyers’ riff on that call is brisk and refreshing. 

Sunday Prayer for Easter 4C

Lord,

You are our Shepherd,

Jesus said he was the Good Shepherd.

But God if you are the good Shepherd, why?

Why must we be so violent? Is it because we don’t trust you as our good shepherd?

Where are you if you are the good shepherd?

Its not just in Boston or New York that people are killed by bombs

Its everywhere God.

It doesn't much feel like green pastures or still waters.

But we need you to make us lie down in green pastures and to lead us beside the still waters.

We all need green pastures and still waters to sooth our souls.

Lord we walk through some dark valleys now with the violence in the world.

We walk through our own dark valleys of death, illnesses, crisis, hardships, and tough times.

We want to believe and to not fear evil, but God sometimes we do fear.

How can this world feel safe if you can even run in a race or

walk in a run/walk event anymore without worrying if there is a bomb planted at the finish line.

We aren't always sure you are there right beside us.

But Lord we all need you right there beside us, guiding us, protecting us and comforting us.

God, our Shepherd we need you to prepare a feast for all of us,

Especially all who are hungry.

We need you to anoint our heads with your oil.

We need goodness and mercy to follow us all our days instead of the hatred, badness, mistreatment,

Bullying, and harming one another.

We all need to live in the house of the LORD our whole life long for there we find peace, your peace that overcomes that which is mean, violent and hard in this world.

Wait a minute Lord it’s us you need to bring the goodness and mercy, peace and reconciliation

into this world.

It’s us that you need to work toward justice and nonviolence so that we can have shalom in this world.

It’s us that need to prepare the feast for all and homes for the homeless.

But God, we want to remain safe and secure.

We don’t want to go to help change the world.

We are afraid.

We don’t want to be the ones you called to go into all the world and make disciples.

Lord forgive us, encourage us, equip us, and yes, send us Lord to change our world.

And Lord go with us as the Good Shepherd of the world.

based on Psalm 23

cross posted at rev abi's long and winding road and revgalprayerpals

11th Hour Preacher Party: We're in this together, edition

Today again I am hardly myself.
It happens over and over.
It is heaven-sent.

It flows through me
like the blue wave.
Green leaves – you may believe this or not –
have once or twice
emerged from the tips of my fingers

somewhere
deep in the woods,
in the reckless seizure of spring.

Though, of course, I also know that other song,
the sweet passion of one-ness.

Just yesterday I watched an ant crossing a path, through the
          tumbled pine needles she toiled.
And I thought: she will never live another life but this one.
And I thought: if she lives her life with all her strength
          is she not wonderful and wise?
And I continued this up the miraculous pyramid of everything
          until I came to myself.

And still, even in these northern woods, on these hills of sand,
I have flown from the other window of myself
to become white heron, blue whale,
          red fox, hedgehog.
Oh, sometimes already my body has felt like the body of a flower!
Sometimes already my heart is a red parrot, perched
among strange, dark trees, flapping and screaming.

Mary Oliver From Five Points
Volume 6, No.3 2002

It's been quite a week in these United States, from the bombing at the Boston Marathon to the lockdown in Boston/Watertown and the capture of a 19 year old boy, one of two perpetrators of this week of violence. My heart feels strange, like it is perched in dark trees flapping and screaming. 

"These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb...the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them....for the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

That sustainable sermon I thought I was going to preach this week, well that one seems ridiculous now. (What about you?...)

God, who restores my soul and walks with me through the valley of sorrow, help me to find words of mercy, words of comfort and solace, words to help us find our way to still waters...where we can be pray for this world. Words to relieve the suspense and remind us that we are one with God, and God is one with us. 

And somehow God will redeem the tragedies of this world, this life, and bring forth God's healing love. God, acting in and through the actions of love and compassion of all who carried others, helped others, gave for others...God's love and mercy revealed in the least expected ways.

Oh my.

So, where are you going with your sermon this Sunday? Do you feel called to address this directly? Or will you choose to say something else in the sermon time and address the events of this week in the prayers? Or do you live far away and the events in the USA have barely made the news? Or, are you facing your own issues and concerns of violence and injustice? Or....?

Are you thinking about the story in Acts? Or the 23rd Psalm? Or Revelation or the Gospel of John? Or are you using the Narrative Lectionary or off-lectionary this week?

Share with us your thoughts, your worries and concerns, and your hope. In the midst of trial and tribulation, the preacher party is place of sustenance, inspiration, and love...an oasis in the abyss.

I have coffee. Lots of coffee. And all varieties of tea. I am also sure I can whip up most anything else your stomach desires....we'll hang together to help our heart's desires, too. Pull up a chair, it's the 11th Hour and we're here to do this together, even if we don't feel much like partying.

A Healing Space Friday Five

I am an enthusiastic newspaper reader. Lately, however, world events have made it hard to read and process the pain in the world around me. Perhaps you have struggled with this, too.

So, with the events of the violence and tragedy from the Boston Marathon fresh in our memories, I thought it would be good for us to focus on where as RevGalBlogPals, we find healing, peace and strengthening. As a chaplain, there are days where I never seem to catch my breath, and invariably, those are the days that I need it the most! So with all this in mind, share with us these healing things

1. A piece of music

2. A place

3. A favorite food (they call it "comfort food" for a reason)

4. A recreational pastime (that you watch or participate in)

5. A poem, Scripture passage or other literature that speaks to comfort you.

BONUS: People, animals, friends, family - share a picture of one or many of these who warm your heart.

As always, let us know you played in the comments, by linking to your post with the following formula!
<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>.

Ask the Matriarch -- Party Games

This week we hear from a troubled questioner, whose situation sent me to Google to look up the game she mentions:

I am in a unique position in that people think that as a female church leader/pastor, that I would just LOVE to plan and take care of baby showers, wedding showers and housewarmings. I do not. I usually don't attend because they are more than my family schedule can allow, but I will send a small homemade gift (personal) and then at the baby's blessing, give them a gift from the church (crib cross and a Bible).

We are a very VERY small church, and there's just not enough warm bodies to take on these projects. We also have a very transient population as our younger families are here for education, and then graduate and leave or get assigned a new post (military.) We ARE their family - most of them do not have family near by to host and plan these events.

Not into those "blindfold diapering" games either. But I also want these families to be loved on...

Help?

Signed

Give me a beer not another party game...

Our first Matriarch, Muthah+, does not mince words.

No!  This does not fall under the purview  of  the pastor no matter how large the congregation is.  Period.  Full-stop!  Quit picking up other peoples work.  You are not only mixing up the expectations of the role of pastor, you are setting up your successor with a horrible pattern.  If the parish has a need for such a ministry, someone will step up to it.

Not our reverendmother.

Terri ponders at greater length.

Oh my. This is fascinating. On the one hand you have a group of people looking for someone to be the "mom" and take care of the cultural expectations around family life. On the other hand they think that YOU, the Pastor should be that mom figure. In the Episcopal Church many of my female colleagues have opted to use the title, "Mother" as an equivalent to the often used male title "Father." But, both of those titles rankle me - I do not think the Pastor of the church should be in a parental role to the congregation. Spiritual Guide and teacher, perhaps, but not parent.

Nonetheless you have a community of people yearning for the cultural norms of wedding and baby showers and housewarmings (seriously, housewarmings? people still do that?). If this were my reality I would have a heart to heart with my governing board/vestry/leadership team. I'd let them know that this seems to be a need in the community but it is not one I can meet. Therefore, how do WE respond to this need? One response might be to say - people are welcome to use the Fellowship Hall (or whatever you call the area where you have coffee) for free to have these parties. The church will pray for you (we add these folks to our prayer list for the month before a wedding or baptism). Members of the church will come and celebrate with you, if you like. BUT you are responsible for planning your own party. Maybe even call it a "Have it your way" party? Seriously, is there anything wrong with planning your own party for a wedding celebration, baptism, or housewarming? If there is a procedure in place that normalizes this process maybe people would be able to embrace it? The procedure might include a list of where to get party supplies and local shops for gifts and discounted food?

Honesty, I'm not trying to problem solve - ideas like I am proposing may be completely ridiculous. But I am trying to think outside the box and offer an incentive to respond to a real need in the community - a need that you have already identified as a yearning for family - with some simple platform and procedure for others, even the individuals themselves, to take responsibility. That way you have paved a path for these events to happen - but YOU do not have to do them.

Praying for you and hoping some brilliant solution comes your way....

I would second Terri's suggestion of bringing the concern to a church leadership group. First, it's an erroneous assumption that a pastor who is a woman should be throwing parties for any occasion. Second, in a church with the population you describe, maybe there are some ways the church can be an extended family. When I was a young bride married to a law student, we had a spouses' group that made sure every new mom had a baby shower. We were the very definition of transient because no one stayed longer than three years. Some were very far from home. Can you, instead of catering or arranging parties yourself, call together a few church members who have the gift of hospitality and ask if they would take on this task? It's potentially a lovely, faithful way of blessing families, and opens up the possibility that as they move on to new places and churches, they will be moved to do the same for others. I would also suggest telling them about house blessings, which seem to be gaining in popularity, and are more faith-oriented than a traditional housewarming.

Dear readers, what think you? Please share your thoughts in the comments. And if you have a question for the Matriarchs, please send us an email by clicking on this link.

Wednesday Festival: Holding Boston in our prayers, thoughts, and hearts

As a nation we have been holding the people of Boston and the participants of the Boston Marathon in our hearts, thoughts, and prayer.  As a blogging community we have done the same, offering words of loss, grief, and hope.  As one who has been struck dumb by the horrors of this bombing I am thankful for those who have been brave enough to offer heartfelt and thoughtful reflections.  Here are just a few....

a church for starving artists

Liberation Theology Lutheran

With a Cup and a Prayer

Barefoot Theology

Sister Sarah's Excellent Adventure

Reflectionary

In the midst of terror and horror life goes on.  For some reminders of "normalcy" check out:

The Blue Room's List of "B List Kid Milestones" in which she discusses some of the less talked about milestones in our children's lives.  It brought a smile to my face and hope it will to yours as well.

Musings of an altomom shares her travels in France--a beautiful tale of sights and wonders

Philosophy over coffee liberates his blogging process

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~Sheep, shepherds, and the Lamb edition

Holy Shepherd,
you know your sheep by name
and lead us to safety through the valleys of death.
Guide us by your voice,
that we may walk in certainty and security
to the joyous feast prepared in your house,
were we celebrate with you forever. Amen.


It's the fourth Sunday of Easter, and that brings us Jesus as the Good Shepherd. Or wait, Jesus is the Lamb. Confused anyone?


This year's Good Shepherd Sunday gospel finds Jesus in the temple precincts where he is asked point blank, "Are you the Messiah?" His answer was no doubt unsatisfactory to that particular audience and is still enigmatic in some ways; nonetheless it has provided solace for countless Christians over the centuries, and the image of Jesus as the shepherd is one that is familiar to all. Are you hearing the shepherd's voice as you prepare to preach?



We continue on our Eastertide trek through Revelation as well where we find Jesus the Lamb enthroned

 and surrounded by angels and throngs of the faithful robed in white who have "come through their ordeal" and been washed in the blood of the lamb. It's not your traditional pastoral scene, but the promise of the Lamb who will be the shepherd is reassuring none the less:

"They will hunger no more, and thirst no more;
the sun will not strike them,
nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

 The reading from Acts provides an alternative to sheep and shepherd imagery as we find Peter in Joppa where he raises the faithful Tabitha from the dead, demonstrating the power of the Holy Spirit invested in Jesus' disciples. What does this story promise us today, in a culture perhaps more skeptical of such things?

Many of us struggle with the familiarity of the Good Shepherd. Are you finding fresh inspiration? Are you off lectionary? Share your questions, frustrations and inspirations with us. Sometimes it takes a village to write a sermon, so to speak!

Readings may be found here or here

Big Event 7.0 -- Save the Date!

Suzanne Stabile

We're pleased to announce the presenter and date for RevGalBlogPals Big Event 7.0.

Suzanne Stabile, an internationally renowned teacher and director of retreats, will offer a program about the Enneagram, an ancient personality typing system that identifies how people relate to one another and why, and why motivation is personality determined. She offers a unique and creative approach to the practice of Spiritual Formation. A master of the Enneagram, Suzanne draws upon her educational background at Southern Methodist University, and her life skills learned as a mother of four, a social worker, and a minister’s spouse. 

Her refreshing teaching style is an unforgettable blend of humor, honesty, and authenticity. She and her husband, Joseph, are the founders of Life in the Trinity Ministry, and the Micah Center in Dallas.

Big Event 7.0 will take place aboard the Carnival Elation, departing New Orleans, LA, January 20-25, 2014. The ship departs Monday afternoon and returns early Saturday morning. We will have space for 50 participants. Exact prices, brochures and registration forms will be available soon. 

The Big Event provides a unique combination of learning, relaxation and "gal-ship." We hope you will consider joining us in 2014!

Photo by the Reverend Holly Smith.

Sunday Afternoon Music Video: Alleluia

Several years ago, during the Easter season, the daughter of a friend received communion for the first time. Profoundly handicapped, she cannot see, walk or speak, but she adores music, and I love watching her face when I cantor the psalm. But when the alleluia burst forth, it so startled her that she lost her usual grin. I felt awful, though her father assured me afterwards that it was just that she couldn't see it coming. Literally!

Eric Whitacre's still and gentle Alleluia wouldn't startle anyone I suspect. I find in the frenzy of the end of the semester, following upon the intensity of the early part of this liturgical season, I don't always want my allelluias with trumpet blasts. The depth and stillness of this version sings to me of the enduring grace of the resurrection in ways that the trumpets do not, and ever so gently draws me into God's embrace.

If you need a late afternoon or evening meditation, lie back, close your eyes and spend 10 minutes with this piece.

Did anyone sing anything that could't have use a trumpet or two today? Share in the comments!

Prayer for Easter 3c

God, our God,

You stay by us day and night and.

You deliver us from life’s messes.

We thank you God.

We thank you that you hear us when we cry out for help.

You love us, you heal our wounds, and you deliver us from our downheartedness.

 

We pray for those who are grieving that the time of their weeping

may not last forever but be turned into days of joy.

We pray for those who are in the midst of a crisis

that you guide them through the crisis and that they find their strength in you.

We pray for those who are sick and ailing that they may find

 peace, rest and restoration in you.

Lord you make yourself known to us in so many ways,

help us to not miss those moments.

And just as you told Peter to feed your sheep you call us to feed your sheep today.

Lord may we be faithful to loving you and feeding your sheep.

 

cross posted at revgalprayerpals and rev abi's long and windng road

11th Hour Preacher Party: Fish and Sheep and Nakedness! Oh my!

I'm not even using the RCL these days, but even still I can't let this gospel story go by without mentioning naked-Peter.  WHAT?!?!?!  I love that total randomness.

With that moment of immaturity out of the way, we continue.

The great feast days of Easter have passed, but Eastertide continues.  How are you continuing to proclaim the good news of the resurrection in your worship and preaching?

The Revised Common Lectionary is chock full of wonderful   post-resurrection passages.  The passage from John's gospel alone as countless points of entry - casting nets deep, Peter's sudden recognition of Jesus and bold decision to come to him, breakfast on the beach, declarations of love, and commands to "Feed my sheep."  So many ways that story can lead, as well as the conversion of Saul and the voices of angels from Revelation 5.  The Narrative Lectionary has churches looking at the call and death of Stephen.  And of course there are probably several of us going in entirely different directions.

Wherever the Spirit is leading you in your preaching, we're glad she brought you here to this sermon writing party.  The (virtual) food is always wonderful and the (very real) friends are even better.  Jump on into the water just like Peter (clothing optional since we can't see you - - Did I really just say that?  Oh yes, I did.) and join us in the comments.  We're here all day and night!

Friday Five: Random is BACK!!!!!

Can you believe it is April 12????  Have you finished your taxes?  Here in Boston, the city is abuzz with Boston Marathon anticipation.  We are finally hearing birds chirp in the morning, and even though it was in the low thirties last night, many of us are bravely sporting open-toed sandals.   None of this has anything to do Friday Five, except randomness.   So, in that spirit.......

1.  How are you doing?  What's going on in your life?

2.  Have you ever resigned from a position?  What was the good-bye like?

3. So, we are still resurrecting...still getting used to New Life!!  What is a source of new life for you?

4.  My friend is running the marathon on Friday, because it is on her bucket list.  What is something on your bucket list?

5.  Tell us about one precious thing (tangible) you keep around your house, your altar, your pocket, and what is its story?

As always, tell us you played in the comments so we can come over and visit!
Happy Friday, every one?

Ask the Matriarch: Helping Hands

If you've served in a local church for more than an hour or so, you'll likely sympathize with this week's questioner:

The small rural church I serve has many different needs.  We currently have two people (one a member and the other attends regularly) who many members have helped, individually with finances (rent, utilities, groceries, etc) They each have very different stories and the one person is now 1 year drug free. 

I suggested to the mission committee that a "Helping Hands" fund be established with guidelines for the use of helping church members and those who attend regularly.  The community has a food pantry and some other emergency funds available as well.  However, the two people in our church have maxed out their limit with those agencies.

We want to be able to help people; we want to put them in the best possible situation to succeed, but at the same time we also do not want to enable poor choices when it comes to money and accountability.  

Our guidelines include that all funds will be paid to the creditor; that we may ask for a list of their income/expenses/month; and that we might refer them for financial counseling.  We also will have them sign a covenant to repay the church when possible so that we can continue to help people.  The committee named a set amount to spend each year and when that amount is reached we say, "the funds are all gone."  I realize this does not stop individual members from being approached.  All the requests will go through the mission committee and not the pastor.  

Perhaps I am a bit cynical. but there is always a "check coming" or a "job interview" or "it is someone else's fault", or something which leads them to ask for help.

Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

The good news is, the Matriarchs support you. The bad news is, there are no easy solutions.

Here's a word from kathrynzj:

It sounds like you are putting some really good things into place. A book that helped our staff wrestle with this question is When Helping Hurts - How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor and Yourself by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. I recommend it to you because although there is no '1 size fits all' approach to these situations, I found my mind freed from the "What would Jesus do" guilt that I always burden myself with when it comes to these tough decisions. We were able to discuss what might work in our situation and we were still on the same page together even when some of the results were disappointing (a refusal of assistance once financial counseling was an expectation in return for that assistance). I think your cynicism is well-placed and I am thankful for your spirit of willingness to find a better way rather than shut down all assistance entirely.

RevHRod acknowledges this is a tough one:

My only "advice" is that you stick to your policies.  They are there to protect the interests of the congregation, avoid haggling and provide a healthy level of assistance to those who are in need.  Even then, there are going to be times when you are lied to or conned.  The thing is, I am pretty sure that when I die and go to heaven, God is not going to give me a lecture because I let myself get swindled by someone who asked for my help.  So go with your gut and whenever possible, make decisions like this in committee.

Terri at Seeking Authentic Voice shares that this part of ministry, like the question, is complicated:

The needs are endless. Anything we might offer is just a tiny response to a much bigger, systemic problem of poverty, lack of employment, poor wages, poor health care, even poorer mental health care, which encumber our communities in this country. I find it perpetually overwhelming to think about, and increasingly difficult to know how to respond to the people I encounter.

That said, I do not feel it is my place to judge the worthiness of another and their request for assistance. I really don't want to hear their "stories" which may or may not include real details of their life circumstances. How humiliating for them to create and tell these stories over and over. I have come to believe that if a person is so desperate, for whatever reason, that they come to the church seeking assistance, then help is what I will try to give. I tell them up front that I don't have much, a simple $10 gift card to a local grocery store and gas station chain is what I give. I give out $100 worth of these every month. We do try to rotate around and not give to the same people every month but that also depends on the number of requests. I stopped the process where I, as the clergy person, had to be the one to make the determination. The parish administrator who is in the office more than I is allowed to give them out. She also keeps track of who has come in and tries to balance the needs from month to month. Its messy and complicated, but it avoids me needing to determine who qualifies and why. We also collect food for a local food pantry - but almost always give away the food to people in need before it ever gets to the pantry. This makes me think we need to start our own pantry...

It seems to me that the process you are trying to implement is one that offers a good opportunity for balance and integrity. There will always be people who are using and abusing the process - but in my mind that is just symptomatic of deeper problems of need and perpetual poverty and a public aide system in this country that teaches poverty survivors to be manipulative as a means to getting some needs met.

I have been facing this question for fifteen years of ordained ministry. It is one of the most difficult challenges of ministry - how to respond with integrity and respect the dignity of the person and hope that one is also being a good steward of the resources offered up by the parish.

You may find some good food for thought in Sara Miles' book, Take This Bread, and her website.

Blessings and prayers for you as you live this journey of pastoral life. It is an ever evolving one. 

The inimitable Crimson Rambler points out:

Ah yes.  My MDiv took seven years to complete and at no point in that process did anyone even mention that PEOPLE WERE GOING TO ASK ME FOR MONEY.
It was the very first thing that happened when I became identifiable as a clergywoman.
It's still problematic.  I think our enquirer's policies are sound; we do want to help, we don't want to reward "mendacity."
The difficulty is that the people who approach us are almost never "in terrible trouble, and that's all" OR "dreadful liars, and that's all."
They're nearly always both.
Paying funds to the creditor is a good policy; supplying aid-in-kind is another.  (If they ask for money for gas, meet them at the gas station and do the fill-up yourself.  If they ask for money for a bus ticket to a job etc., meet them at the bus station, and so forth.)  It can be a big help to have a parish credit-card dedicated to this purpose.
And it's quite all right to say, "the funds are all gone."  I also used to ask a return favour -- "I can give you this much, but please don't tell anyone else where you got it"; and often that request was seriously honoured.  Otherwise I found it was like throwing a crust to a pigeon --  instantly there would be a dozen more applicants!
Somewhere St. John Chrysostom, who knew a thing or two, says that you should give in response to all requests, not very much, but never investigate the "story," because the genuinely needy will be embarrassed and tell unconvincing stories, and the hardened con-artists will have their tales all polished up.
The other tactic that is important is ecumenical consultation, even in a very small community--because there are people who work the help-from-a-church process as if it were a full-time job, and live quite comfortable lives as a result.  Call your fellow clergy!  Pass the word around!
We kept a running file on persons who had sought help, and shared it with other parishes and denominations.
All that said...every so often, there were returns of thanks, or even repayment of financial help, which floored me completely.

A quick suggestion from yours truly:

In my last call, the church used a local grocery chain's gift cards as a fundraiser. The Deacons would purchase a supply of the gift cards for the pastor to distribute as needed. This helped both the church and those passing by our country crossroads. We also kept a small supply of gas certificates for the one gas station in town. In our situation, we needed something in the office that would keep people moving along the way. As in so many aspects of ministry, location matters. Two women in an isolated church building may need a different strategy than is required for a well-staffed church with better security. 

More local (town or congregation) requests for over $50 were handled by me in conjunction with the Deacons, and in that case, we would assist with heating oil or medication expenses by paying bills directly.

Finally, Rev Red advises keeping the congregation in the loop:

I have served most of my ministry in rural areas and the needs in the community as well as the congregation always seem to be many.  There also are often a few who are wanting fish rather than learning to fish.  In other words, a hand out not a hand up.  This said, I believe creating a committee and a fund within your congregation is a good start to dealing with and helping all in a positive and caring manner.  I like the guidelines you have set up including counseling, the covenant to repay so that others can be helped and being able to say the funds are gone when they have been depleted.. 

You may also want to have some kind of a limit on how often each recipient can ask and also how much can be distributed each time.

I believe that it is also important to let your congregation members and friends know that this fund is available and to encourage them to work within this fund's framework.  This may help with the appeals to individuals and also empower them to say no without a lot of guilt.  It may also cause those who are going to individuals to reconsider doing this as well.

I too have become cynical at times over the years.  I do not buy that unlimited help is the best option and that helping again when a contract with the helping agency has been broken numerous times.  I really struggle when I know there are children involved and they are the ones who will end up being hurt the most by a cold house or inadequate food.  However, when this is the case there may need to be intervention in other ways to insure that minors are not being neglected or abused.

Another factor that I find to be important in small communities or large ones is some way of helping agencies communicating with each other.  The best help networks I have seen in the communities I have served are the ones administered from a central location  whether for the transient or the local population.  I could tell all kinds of stories about the creative ways used to get funds or other help from every church in town on the way through town to get to the next town to repeat the process. 

I hope some of this helps.  I am looking forward to seeing all of the responses.  One of my small congregations has just started a Food Pantry with monthly distribution of food boxes which has grown quickly in two distributions.  We do not have any requirements as an agent of the larger food bank in our county.  At this point we have no guidelines for who can receive the food other than an address and numbers of persons of what ages in the household.  We hope to be able to continue this way.  We shall see.

What is your experience? Please let us know in the comments. If you have a question for our panel, please send it to Ask the Matriarch.