tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post5380219551990200110..comments2023-11-03T05:46:44.728-04:00Comments on RevGalBlogPals: Ask the Matriarch - Ministry and New MotherhoodStephanie Anthony/She Revhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10089531643725874239noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-23726199393903341122011-04-01T08:07:28.216-04:002011-04-01T08:07:28.216-04:00I put my five things here!<a href="http://processingcounselo.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">I put my five things here!</a>Processing Counselorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11606966815373763670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-73359149099810233022011-03-31T20:34:19.585-04:002011-03-31T20:34:19.585-04:00Great comments so far! Something to keep in mind ...Great comments so far! Something to keep in mind is how ready the congregation may be to embrace your baby. <br /><br />I had my first child while I was serving a small congregation of mostly elderly members. They were so delighted to have a baby in the church! I took her with me on home visits (where appropriate) and used her as a visual Easter sermon illustration. They ate her up!<br /><br />This doesn't mean I didn't have plenty of balancing challenges. But don't assume your congregation will resent your divided attention. They may celebrate every bit with you!nancy.johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10564254379043746425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-30872321846561063622011-03-31T19:53:44.784-04:002011-03-31T19:53:44.784-04:00All of these comments are very helpful and the ori...All of these comments are very helpful and the original advice from the Matriarchs was wonderful, too! <br /><br />I read this with interest as I am about to have Baby #3 in the fall, the first baby to be born at my new call. I think I will be in a fairly interesting situation because I think the others at church want me to bring the baby more than *I* want to bring the baby! There has already been a comment: "Ooh, maybe it's good you didn't get that reading chair for your office because now you can put the bassinet there!" Ha!<br /><br />That doesn't necessarily add to the conversation, but is a good place for me to let this little comment slip and feel like I'm in good company!<br /><br />Blessings to all the other pastor mommies out there!realsarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-82792503843285662962011-03-31T19:45:02.395-04:002011-03-31T19:45:02.395-04:00I brought my son to work 3 out of 4 days a week wh...I brought my son to work 3 out of 4 days a week when he was 8 weeks old. One day a week, he went to an in-home care location and I scheduled pastoral care on that day. Sermons got written (then) when they got written. At four months old, he went to care 2 days a week and with me two days a week. Six months old coincided with Holy Week and we moved to in-home care during the week. On Sundays, he is either with Daddy or with his "church grandma" and/or the nursery attendant (older woman, vetted for paid position). <br /><br />In general, people were very understanding about him coming with me. This is a full-time, solo position with a part time admin. I can't say I've solved the balance issues, but I think it was good to have him nearby for those early months. People did drop by to see him, under the guise of seeing me. I did take him to visit people who were homebound, but in good health. <br /><br />This was around the H1N1 flu time, so I was a little edgy about people holding him. I think you can, as others mentioned, say the doctor has cautioned you against having him held by a lot of people during the outbreak. I also found that wearing the baby (in a carrier) meant your hands were free and he was occupied enough that people couldn't really take him.Pastor Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01483149432826000955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-73196313370431956782011-03-31T19:20:58.333-04:002011-03-31T19:20:58.333-04:00I should clarify: the jealousy (at a very subconsc...I should clarify: the jealousy (at a very subconscious level) was over competition for my affections. All sorts of odd dynamics come out in congregations, and this is one that's definitely possible when the pastor has a new baby.Betsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07399176212493797062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-66043675319176941722011-03-31T17:05:28.206-04:002011-03-31T17:05:28.206-04:00I'm pretty sure the reason I was a late vocati...I'm pretty sure the reason I was a late vocation was because God knew I couldn't do children and ordained ministry at the same time. My hat is off to every single one of you who manage this balancing and do it wonderfully!Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04722745745959393813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-16361292254162443332011-03-31T16:10:43.442-04:002011-03-31T16:10:43.442-04:00Thanks to all for the ideas. Please add more if t...Thanks to all for the ideas. Please add more if they arise!<br /><br />So far the congregation is very supportive and delighted to see my daughter, but I am aware that some hard feelings might arise, either from displaced jealousy (as mentioned; "how come she can bring her baby to work when I can't?") or the perception that I can't focus when the baby is around. Which is somewhat true, although I find I can get a lot done in a short amount of time during naptime, for example.<br /><br />She'll be in daycare three days a week starting in May, so that may take care of the problem.<br /><br />To Jen L. - I would be pretty cautious about taking the baby to public places, including church, if there is a pertussis outbreak in your area. (Normally I am not a very helicopter-y parent, just so you know.) Maybe you can encourage congregation members to get vaccinated if they'd like to hang out with the baby for any length of time...you can always use the doctor's advice as an excuse.Shalomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06089748396867624769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-44182064293518121432011-03-31T15:05:17.020-04:002011-03-31T15:05:17.020-04:00My experience is limited as my daughter is not-qui...My experience is limited as my daughter is not-quite-2, but I'll echo the comments about bringing her until she could get around! I work part-time in a program sized parish, and having her with me was great when she was tiny. A grandma in the parish even brought me a spare pack & play for me office that her grandkids had outgrown! I was pleased at how supportive people were in general. I was less pleased when my daughter pulled a bunch of files out of my drawer while I was typing an email. She goes to a great day care for the days I'm at the office now :)<br /><br />I'm hoping that someday, when she's a little older, she'll be able to play/color/whatever while I do work, but toddler-hood doesn't seem to be the best time for that.Susie/Nuevacantorahttp:nuevacantora.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-57150332899180130702011-03-31T14:32:34.980-04:002011-03-31T14:32:34.980-04:00I'm reading all the advice with great interest...I'm reading all the advice with great interest -- I am 5 months into my first call and 6.5 months pregnant. That has been an interesting challenge all around, but my congregation has been great and supportive. It is a half time, solo pastor call in a family size church, so I feel pretty comfortable bringing the baby to the church during the week, when I am working in the office (which I expect to do 1-2 days per week).<br /><br />Here's a tangential question: in my area, there is an outbreak of pertussis (whooping cough) and it has been strongly emphasized to me through my OB care that all the adults in our household AND those who may have occasional contact (grandparents, etc) should get a pertussis vaccine booster before the baby arrives. I am not sure if I need to be concerned about caretakers at church or about contact with the congregation, or if that's a public health issue I should even mention.<br /><br />Any thoughts you have would be great!Jen L.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-74945658818413560162011-03-31T01:20:16.716-04:002011-03-31T01:20:16.716-04:00Both my babies came to work with me for varied amo...Both my babies came to work with me for varied amounts of time, all pre-crawling. I did have back up mostly for those times when it was not appropriate, and I was in a very small office where I wasn't disturbing anyone. However, a friend who'd been down the road before me warned me that some weird stuff might happen that probably had it's displaced roots in jealousy. She was right! Awareness of the dynamics is a big part of the response, so I pass this insight along.Betsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07399176212493797062noreply@blogger.com