tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post7827275719039930553..comments2023-11-03T05:46:44.728-04:00Comments on RevGalBlogPals: Ask the Matriarch: packaging God editionStephanie Anthony/She Revhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10089531643725874239noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-86891852016854931512009-04-28T21:16:00.000-04:002009-04-28T21:16:00.000-04:00I don't believe that you need to withdraw but I re...I don't believe that you need to withdraw but I respect your decision. Thank you and the matriarchs! And don't stop the column, we need it.hip2bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00043622691294207012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-22088003850206296502009-04-23T22:03:00.000-04:002009-04-23T22:03:00.000-04:00Well, I'm the questioner. :)
No, there is no opti...Well, I'm the questioner. :)<br /><br />No, there is no option on the reports or the MC. There's two of us who are associate pastors. Both of us (one with his M.Div. and me almost) feel like this is babysitting by the MC so SP can finish his book. We're a staff of 3 plus a secretary in a church of about 650. Our elder board won't "go there" - what SP wants, SP gets. I'm not sure I want to take this any higher in the church food chain.<br /><br />My hub pointed out that I can use even the negative to make a positive difference in my life. His prompt, your advice and a glass of chardonnay (have some?) made life seem a little better tonight.<br /><br />I'm working on my resume. And will try to work through my stuff so that I don't take it to the next job. Some things you don't want to pack.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-20821118468766740752009-04-23T20:02:00.000-04:002009-04-23T20:02:00.000-04:00I think I'd take a look at how you might turn this...I think I'd take a look at how you might turn this situation to your advantage; if nothing comes up, and the SP is determined you do it, then maybe it's time to bow out. But perhaps there is some area in which you would like to take a systematic approach to goals, or maybe there's an area in which his slick packaging method doesn't seem so far-fetched (I've learned a lot about website content from material that would otherwise drive me nuts!).<br /><br />Someone mentioned the UMC approach where a church committee is sees the goals; at the very least, I'd try for something like that, or a small group you pull together--again, all in the name of learning!--so that there's a little wider forum for discussion if you and he disagree significantly or he is inappropriate in his advice/criticism of you and your work.<br /><br />As for the matriarch definition, I definitely fall in the category, with 22 years serving in parishes as a priest...and I'm loving learning a lot from many of you who are lay people or much more newly ordained!Betsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07399176212493797062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-77869084349335562172009-04-23T17:52:00.000-04:002009-04-23T17:52:00.000-04:00Helen, great news.
Awesome we are all going to be ...Helen, great news.<br />Awesome we are all going to be Aunts and some of us are Uncles!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654861033242845082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-16107650943884032202009-04-23T17:50:00.000-04:002009-04-23T17:50:00.000-04:00Ann,
Say it isn't so, you have done a great job, a...Ann,<br />Say it isn't so, you have done a great job, and those you have recruited have had some marvelous ideas and advise.<br /><br />Wish you would stay.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654861033242845082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-2754749949546275792009-04-23T17:40:00.000-04:002009-04-23T17:40:00.000-04:00This brings back memories of a rector who required...This brings back memories of a rector who required clergy staff to record how we spent our time each month, mostly in pastoral matters but others, as well. We referred to it as the rectal report. I'm crining now just thinking about it, and that was ten years ago!<br /><br />That said, I would negotiate with the SP about this. The purpose of the "master plan" may be desirable, but the methodology needs to work for you for it to be fruitful. As long as you are working toward defining and striving toward goals (how about desired outcomes?), a way to be accountable to those is what matters. <br /><br />Who are we trying to please here? If the SP wants this to work, then it would serve him well to make this work for you. Just a thought.altar egohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11564052536173244610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-38850656281271309702009-04-23T16:46:00.000-04:002009-04-23T16:46:00.000-04:00In terms of the seminarian/part-time pastor's prea...In terms of the seminarian/part-time pastor's preaching development. Is this is your own self-perception - you want to continue to develop in this area - or external perception - SP/MC think you need help? It sounded like the former. I suggest gathering preachers and listeners whom you trust to share your sermons, both manuscripts and delivered. And take as many preaching elective and continuing education courses as you can. Ultimately, time and practice will help you develop.Dr. Wil Gafneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-17795920670545645252009-04-23T13:50:00.000-04:002009-04-23T13:50:00.000-04:00Regarding the original question:
Get out. Get ou...Regarding the original question:<br /><br />Get out. Get out now. (Just my two cents.)<br /><br />Regarding the matriarch definition: I've always found the advice in this column to be helpful. I say we go with a 'pirate' (as in, of the Caribbean, not actual hijackers) interpretation: "they're more like guidelines."Shalomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06089748396867624769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-52795978720275405262009-04-23T13:23:00.000-04:002009-04-23T13:23:00.000-04:00Well, I never had 10 years of ordained service whe...Well, I never had 10 years of ordained service when editing this column as Gallycat. For that matter, I hadn't even been back in the church that long. <br /><br />But you're still my matriarch, Ann. Thanks for all your contributions since I had to step down to meet personal obligations--which, of course, have only gotten crazier in the meantime. Not sure who will see this, but... er,... GALLYCAT (now known as @vagabondfaith on Twitter) IS PREGNANT AND DUE IN NOVEMBER. :)<br /><br />Tee hee. <br /><br />Helenmoshermamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06626593146392211985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-55580332625265506742009-04-23T13:18:00.000-04:002009-04-23T13:18:00.000-04:00Sorry for the garbles in my last comment--didn't f...Sorry for the garbles in my last comment--didn't finish editing before hitting publish. Last sentence should read:<br /><br />There are some technical questions where the present strict definition of matriarch might have more insight/personal experience but many which are much better answered by a diversity of perspective.Dr. Laura Marie Grimeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10372741914558791844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-40170187203019249692009-04-23T13:17:00.000-04:002009-04-23T13:17:00.000-04:00Ann, it is up to your own discernment about whethe...Ann, it is up to your own discernment about whether to continue but I don't know if the qualifications need to be interpreted that strictly rather than being guidelines aiming at ensuring wise advice from those with a deep pool of experience to draw from.<br /><br />Experienced lay leaders have much wisdom to share with clergy about spirituality, ministry, and church policy and I have always thought it is shortsighted and rather offensive to bar them as matriarchs. And as a clergy tentmaker myself, I also question why being paid for one's ordained ministry is considered essential to having wisdom and insight to share with this community. There are some technical questions where the present strict definition of matriarch might have more insight/personal experience many which are much better answered by a diversity of perspective. uiries where other perspectives are of no worth.Dr. Laura Marie Grimeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10372741914558791844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-75284280383821857752009-04-23T12:55:00.000-04:002009-04-23T12:55:00.000-04:00I just want to say how much I love and depend on t...I just want to say how much I love and depend on this feature...I'm a lay person but it gives me both a view into the lives of clergy, my own and all of you, and how laity can support you; and also often relates in astonishing ways to my own, secular, job.Mary Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02970052534402740820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-13531291220969400172009-04-23T12:16:00.000-04:002009-04-23T12:16:00.000-04:00I like Abi's approach of being Columbo. I find my...I like Abi's approach of being Columbo. I find myself asking a whole lot more questions in frustrating situations myself these days. It "forces" the other parties to articulate expectations (assuming they answer the questions) and gives them something else to think about other than their own power/authority in the situation.<br /><br />I've also started openly taking detailed notes of the answers to my questions, taking time to make sure I have quoted the person carefully, ("Did I catch what you said accurately?" when reading back their answers to them) and clarifying with "Say more about that..." when the other party is being vague.<br /><br />It shows the other party you are being actively engaged in what they are saying, and you just might find new understanding.<br /><br />Plus, if it all turns out to be baloney, you can shred the notes and be done with it. But they will feel heard.<br /><br />It's fun to play detective!Juleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18324456402703897094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-10659875938688701182009-04-23T11:26:00.000-04:002009-04-23T11:26:00.000-04:00My thoughts..
Perspective is everything. I am als...My thoughts..<br /><br />Perspective is everything. I am also part-time staff, full-time everything else (school, life) and I have recently started working with a Spiritual Director. She asks the really hard questions (why do you react that way? what is the root of this response? how is God informing you in this situation?) And she also has tissues and a fondness for vanilla lattes. It works.<br /><br />I don't have answers to my own questions, but I do have support in an outside voice who also keeps God in the picture. <br /><br />Deb<br />P.S. Ann - I don't know guidelines or whatever, but I appreciate all who write/answer for ATM.Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07077252518911858612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14710344.post-39896162616260465092009-04-23T09:54:00.000-04:002009-04-23T09:54:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07287169546184325690noreply@blogger.com