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Monday, April 16, 2012

RevGalBookPals: Still by Lauren Winner

Lauren Winner generously provided many, many copies of her new book, Still, to RevGalBlogPals.

She gave the books with no strings attached, but we are immensely grateful for her generosity.

Many of us have had the book for several weeks now and a few of us (I hope) have gotten around to reading some or all of it.

I found it so conversational that I had trouble putting it down. It felt like I was interrupting her in the middle of a thought. The writing style is unconventional and a little unpolished, but it worked for me for this particular topic from this certain writer. My review of Still is here.

What about you?

Today, let's talk about Still. Post a link to your own review in the comment section. If you are not certain how to write a review, pick out a couple passages that were significant to you and comment on them briefly. Even if your comment is, "This moved me and I'm still figuring out why," someone else may well relate to that experience.

Let us show our appreciation for Winner today by offering up inspiration and thought-provoking questions that came to us through her writing in Still.

34 comments:

  1. I have almost finished the book. I have found the whole book spoke to me so deeply and echoed my own experience in such a way that I could sigh and think, "I'm not a freak. It happens to other people too." It's so comforting to think that what I often experience is shared by other people and that I am actually ok.
    I have a very busy day ahead but will try to select some passages later. No blog, as you know, but I will put them on this page.
    Thanks Lauren. This is a very special book. Now I have to get your other ones. If I can't find them in SA I'll look in UK.

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  2. My review of the book is here. I look forward to reading what other RevGalBookPals have to say about it.

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  3. Oh, bad timing! I am off for a week of silence and haven't read it yet. I will so look forward to reading this discussion when I return.

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  4. I don't have a full review of the book (besides really appreciating it), but my latest blog post, "The story I wrestle with," was in part Lauren-Winner-inspired (maybe you can tell from the title :) ).

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  5. Alissa, thank you.

    I thought I would be interested in this book because of my own experiences (and I am), but yesterday, meeting with our little youth group, I discovered that all four of the young people feel completely disconnected from God. (So much for baseball games and bowling, huh?) Now I'm wondering about the adults. The sense of God's complete abandonment and absence is such a familiar one to me that I'm not surprised; I was surprised, though, by the kids' sense that to be a Christian is to be a sort of cheerleader for God, as opposed to or in addition to someone who wrestles with God. (Great post, BTW, Alissa.)

    OK, now I really am leaving.

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    1. I think that's why the book speaks so deeply to us - there's this popular notion that to be a Christian, you have to have it all figured out and that you walk in blissful communion with God every day. The truth is that Christians wrestle, wander away and journey in the wilderness.

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    2. Thanks, Robin, for your kind words!

      I can relate to that Christian-as-cheerleader feeling; adults (myself included) aren't always willing to show the gritty, uncertain, angry stuff, and the younger folks (or at least I-when-even-younger-than-now) assume there's no space for wrestling -- and aren't always prepared for that wrestling when it comes. No one told me that having doubts didn't mean I was a bad Christian (thank God for Madeleine L'Engle!).

      All the best with your youth group!

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  6. Given I live in Beijing, I was amazed to be included in the book giveaway and when the book arrived I was very excited. Fortunately the book's contents was an occasion for joy as well as the joy of a free book safely arriving in my mailbox. I loved the writing and have recommended it to both friends and congregation members who find themselves feeling lonely when life makes it difficult to believe. I think her description "this book is about the time when the things you thought you knew about the spiritual life turn out not to suffice for life you are actually living" is a gift in itself as it names a reality that is so commonly experienced.

    For me personally one of the treasures was when Lauren (can I call her by her first name? She signed my book!) writes about Jesus withdrawing to a lonely place to pray. Her connection and invitation to Jesus to pray in the lonely place of her own self was very sustaining to me when things were happening during Lent that couldn't be spoken of very freely and left me feeling somewhat lonely.

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  8. I really connected with many of Lauren's reflection's in "Still." I loved her book "God meets Girl" and was delighted to get the copy of "Still." There was an online study guide ( found at HarperOne's Small Group Guides)which became my Lenten devotional.

    There was one particular chapter that so inspired me that I blogged about it. My reflections on "reading the bible in eight places" can be found here.

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  9. Still read like a closeup, real life experience; thanks again to Lauren Winner for her generous gifts to us of writing, reflection and an actual copy of the book! I wrote a blog with my Amazon review linked at the end. I'm enjoying everyone's comments and will check back her for more.

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  10. I wrote a bit about Lauren Winner's Still, which I found to be a wonderful read and which resonated with me. You can read my short thoughts that echo the slices and pieces of her mid-faith crisis at signs-along-the-way.

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  11. My official review is here but also includes a link to my first thoughts about it from last month, too. This book has been quite a journey for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing where else it goes!

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  12. True Confession: I have not finished Still yet. There are lots of reasons for this, but a complicating reason is that this book is assigned reading for me.

    I'm one of a dozen women clergy who will be meeting with Winner this June at the Collegeville Institute to workshop each others' writing, with her as our workshop leader. I began the book before I got the invitation to Collegeville, and I then became strangely "shy" for some reason about finishing it.

    I will finish it, for sure. We will be discussing it with the author. Already I have had many "Oh, my God, it's not just me who feels that way" moments.

    But reading a writer's vulnerable moments, knowing that in a couple of months she is going to be reading *my* vulnerable moments as well, is a new experience for me.

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  13. Here's a link to my review: http://michellevanloon.com/2012/04/05/review-sort-of-still/

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  14. My reflections after reading it are here

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  15. About six months ago we were gathered around a table at the church discussing the texts I would be preaching on Sunday. I mentioned "wrestling with God"...that concept was totally new. One person actually said...I'm just fine with where I am at.

    Enjoying the conversation and reviews.

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    1. I would be so tempted to reply, "You might be, but the rest of us hope God's still working on you." That's my inner-Julia talking... I try not to let her out much. Did "wrestling" sermons happen? Was there additional response?

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    2. My inner-purple was not quite so tactful as inner-Julia is. :)

      I shared some of my God-wrestling times...how hard it is...somehow we have held on to our 3rd grade Sunday School stories (which are fine for 3rd grade, maybe) and not allowed them to grow and evolve.

      My spiritual director, who has studied with Ken Wilbur, keeps reminding me from a developmental status...a person is not going to undertake wrestling/change until they come to the realization that "it" (whatever it is...church, God, atonement theories, etc)is not longer working for them.

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  16. It's very interesting how many of us said that the books resonated with something in us and that we appreciated it, yet it is not necessarily something we would recommend as a "must read". Who do you think would benefit from reading this book and how would you go about recommending it to them?

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  17. I liked the book, especially the beginning part, and her writing is spare and honest. I share a journey through divorce that has some large similarities with Winner, and her account brought me back into that chapter of my life. But, and it's a big but for me -- it feels terribly unfinished.

    Yes, I know the book is about "the middle" - but literally, I thought that somehow I had gotten a defective book that missed some pages, because that last chapter was like ending in the middle of a....

    Yeah, like that.

    Maybe this book should have waited a while longer to get finished. This is an author who has made a lot of declarative judgments early in her faith life about others who didn't believe/act the way she thought they should have. Who told other people to get married just for sex because sex without marriage was worse.

    I was hoping for more reflection and articulation of that part of her journey now. How maybe she wasn't really ready in her faith life in those early years to make all those mcjudgy comments. And probably it is too soon/too raw to go there, but that's the point - maybe this all takes longer to find the next reflection point.

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    1. I agree with you, revknits! I feel like two memoirs before the mid-30s is kind of a lot, and too much in the middle of things to write with real reflection on things. (I know she doesn't want this book to be considered a memoir, but I still believe it to be one).

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    2. Those McJudgy statements are exactly why I wasn't too crazy about her previous books, which were so recommended to me (because all faithful women of a certain age are exactly the same?). In this book, I would have appreciated better articulation of how she *might* have been wrong about what she believed to be important. I got the sense of the wrestling, which seemed to hint at these thoughts, but was not quite ready to say "mea culpa".

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  18. While I also felt in ended abruptly, there were some journey-like qualities to it which spoke to my muddling through the middle of my last unit of CPE. I blogged about it here...

    There were places where I underlined or starred a comment and passed them along to a friend. And I do have a co-worker in the recovery phase of divorce, so I will offer it to her. She has been searching for her own place of spiritual STILLness.

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  19. It was so lovely to receive the book, and there were definitely portions of it I enjoyed, and I certainly resonate with the idea of being in the middle and of feeling disconnected from God. But in the end, my review of the book was far more mixed than how it sounds like most of you felt about it, and mine sounds rather negative/critical in contrast so I'm hesitant to link to it for fear of looking ungrateful for the gift of it (though any of my goodreads friends are free to find it over there).

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    1. There were no strings attached in receiving the book and each of us is completely free in our experience of it. There are others here (even above) who did not whole-heartedly love the book. Even if it turns out that you threw it against the wall, that's okay too.

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    2. :) Thanks, Julia! I knew there were no strings attached, I just felt kind of yucky and ungracious posting some of my negative thoughts so publicly here, especially when I wasn't sure they would add much to the conversation.

      I did find some nice nuggets in there, especially where she drew on Emily Dickinson, and there were definitely parts I connected with, but I didn't feel like the book really took me anywhere. Which, if it were meant to just be memoir, I guess it wouldn't need to do. But I know it was meant to be more than that, and it just pushed too many of my buttons to be that for me.

      Thank you for hosting this conversation and for your assurance of freedom to express what we think! I didn't mean to imply my views wouldn't be accepted, just that I felt like I was being Cranky McJudgerson by putting them out there in so public a forum, in response to something that was given so generously.

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    3. I hear what you are saying, but I guess I was less critical because it happened to "fit" with my being in the middle/muddle. Perhaps it was a "well D'oh" thing, but at the time (when I had plenty of knowledge, self-awareness and training) I needed to read it.

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  20. I reviewed Still for the Baptist Women in Ministry site. You can find it here: http://www.bwim.info/jennifer-harris-dault/still-notes-on-a-mid-faith-crisis-by-lauren-winner-a-week-of-reviews-2/

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  21. I liked this book -- I pre-ordered it for my kindle app and had already read it when Lauren's offer came out-- and then I received a book anyway, for which I am grateful.

    But like earthchick, my feelings are also mixed. Am I the only one who thought at points, "Well d'oh" at some points ? I guess I was surprised by her surprise at going through what she did (w/regards to a loss of faith) especially given all the major life events she was dealing with. Perhaps that reaction on my part comes from my own life experiences and is unfair. At any rate, I also agree with whoever said that perhaps writing this was a bit premature, and/or it seems unfinished.

    That said, some of her reflections were touching, and at some point I want to reread the whole thing. I think it could be a good book group book.

    "Mudhouse Sabbath" is still my favorite Winner book, though.

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    1. I think one of the frustrating things of my own ministry experience is when someone writes a book (like this) about how faith is hard (or work), or that we wrestle with God, or sometimes God feels far away and we're all supposed to be awed at the revelation. By now, I've read enough of these to look with sympathy upon the author. It's hard for me to realize that there are still people who are surprised that we can doubt/question and still wake up in the morning, not struck down in our sleep.

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  22. I found the book incredibly helpful. Although I am getting past the "middle" of life in some ways, I thought that Winner's book was a powerful reminder of where many of the people in the pews are (or will be headed at some point, if they stick around church long enough).
    Particularly good, I thought, was her discussion of how she struggled to give anxiety up for Lent. I passed on some of what she said in a sermon and numerous people have, on numerous occasions, told me how helpful it was.
    I haven't read Mudhouse Sabbath. But I look forward to doing so!

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  23. I was grateful to get the book. Much of it resonated for me, and frankly, it made me glad I haven't published most of my existential angsting (except moderately on my blog, but I'm not particularly open there about such things).

    Looking back, I can see that over the last 20+ years I would get to a place and say, "THIS IS IT!" And then it wouldn't be.

    Right now I am a place where I am wondering what the heck I thought I was doing and where I might be going. (Spiritually.) It doesn't surprise me any more. It doesn't upset me either, and I'm quite confident that God (as I am one day going to understand God) is waiting for me and smiling.

    Sigh.

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  24. interesting discussion, Gals -- I'm not ready to write a full review but some preliminary mumbles here -- I resonate with the "well d'oh" comment, like Spiritual Dryness and/or Desolation are NEWS???? in ANY faith tradition? (Ignatius of L. and Teresa of A. look at each other, roll eyes...)
    That said, what Lauren says she says so very well that it is a pleasure to read even about what is unpleasant to experience. And that's a huge, huge gift to us all, I think.

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