Tuesday Lectionary Leanings: High Anxiety Edition

Lessons for the coming Sunday are here .

I'll admit it; I'm a "high anxiety," nail-biting, finger-twiddling person whose nerves are set off by everything from left-hand turns to work stress to watching crises du jour on CNN.

Some of us do ministry in anxious congregations -- congregations dealing with change or interpersonal frictions or local stressors.

Sometimes our anxiety springs from forces beyond our control. Sometimes it's the kind of self-induced anxiety borne of our fast-paced, multitasking, distracting, life-devouring lifestyles and mindsets.

What is the word to us anxious folk this coming Sunday? Here's your opportunity to ponder and discuss.

"Take This Bread" Book Discussion

"Take This Bread" was written by Sara Miles about her life before becoming a Christian, becoming a Christian and then living out her Christianity. She has probably lived "nine lives" through her experience as a war journalist, and that experience set a background for her understanding of the Eucharist and food. Her upbringing was Atheistic with a fervor, seasoned with her parents bitterness with the church. At the same time in her background lies her grandparents' "activist/missionary" Christianity.
That she wandered into a church, St Gregory's Episcopal church, received communion and found herself transformed was not a happenstance. Her transformation led her to not just serve the Eucharist during the worship time, but to serve the bread, the food, the groceries to the hungry of San Francisco. She did this all the while being scorned for her new found faith by her friends and family, and dealing with opposition within the church. It is powerful that she then writes about these experiences openly in the book; "Take This Bread". This book, her life, her Christianity challenges us in our own lives, churches and neighborhoods on how are we sharing this "Bread of Life" or not sharing it.

I love the title of this book, it reminds me of several other book titles, Peterson's "Eat this Book", and the book we read and discussed a couple of months ago; Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle." I love the cover of the book, a picture of a Peanut Butter Jelly sandwich. I lived off of PB & J sandwiches through college and seminary; believe it or not, I still like to eat them. This memoir brings to mind Anne Lamott's writing about her own conversion and life; although they are not similar in the way they write. I am struck by how her faith has been sustained even through what has turned others off or away from Christianity. She gives us hope for what is real and can be real and living about Christianity and the church in the world.

There is much that can be discussed about this book and from this book. I invite you to do so in the comment section of the post. If you don't know where to begin here are some possible discussion ideas or you can use the ones in the reader's guide of the book. As I understand it Sara Miles is at some point going to join us in discussion as well. And some of you may have already written her with questions. The following are from the writer herself. I asked her what one question she had not been asked that she wished she was asked since she has already been interviewed a lot; and this is what she wrote;

"I'm not sure I have just one question I've been burning to be asked. But here are some thoughts about areas I know provoke a lot of debate and discussion.

* One is open communion: specifically, why offer open communion? Often church people seem to think that open communion is sort of about manners-- let's allow everyone to receive some wafers so we can be nice and not make anyone feel uncomfortable. I have a very different take on it, which I'd be glad to answer questions on.

* Similarly with gay marriage: I don't think it's a question of "rights" at all, or of justice. I think the argument for gay marriage is based in a theology and ecclesiology that sets God's kingdom apart from the powers and principalities of the world. Would be glad to talk about this.

* Another specific question I'd love to be asked: what are the two main principles that set your food pantry apart from many church feeding programs?

* Some of the group may want to ask about ordination, etc....why I preach, teach, feed, heal, and pastor a congregation, but haven't pursued ordination."

So the table is ready and open for discussion. I have some virtual PB&J to share as we sit around the table and discuss.

Libera - Te Lucis(Tallis's Canon)

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise him above ye heavenly host
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost...

... and so much more...



What did you sing this Trinity Sunday? What are your favourite songs/ Hymns for Trinity Sunday? Let us know in the comments.

Prayer for Trinity Sunday

Prayer for Trinity Sunday

Gracious God,

Thank you for this new day.

Thank you for the opportunity to worship as your body of Christ.

Thank you for the Holy Spirit who fills us with the truth and wisdom.

Holy one, we pray for those who are suffering in China from Earthquakes, Myanmar from the Cyclone, and those who suffer from starvation.

Lord we pray for your peace with justice throughout your whole world.

And now;

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost; as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. Amen.

Artwork by He Qui

Cross posted at RevGal Prayer Pals and my blog

Fest of Homiletics Meetup

More than 25 Rev Gals and Pals are planning to be at the meetup this coming Tuesday! It will be great to see you, too.

Here's the info, one more time....

Taxxis Restaurant,
Hyatt Regency,
1300 Nicollet Mall,
Minneapolis

Tuesday,
May 20th
at 4:00 pm

The dress is....whatever you like...but it sounds from the comments a while back like most us us are keeping it casual.

Feel free to bring guests or friends who are interested in blogging. Just remember that some RevGals blog anonymously, so a measure of discretion is appreciated.

See you soon!

11th Hour Preacher Party: "Which Came First?" Edition

"So, which came first," I asked my husband yesterday, "the chicken or the egg?"

"The egg," he intoned, "but what laid it...was not a chicken."

Will this be the beginning of my sermon on Genesis 1:1-2:4a?

Only those in attendance tomorrow will know for sure.

But meanwhile, pull up a chair, have some coffee, share a muffin or a bowl of cereal, and tell us what you're preaching about, how you're handling the children's message or what you have on for today.

And if even that is too much for you, enjoy a little Sesame Street, first!

Friday Five: Grand Tour

One of our original ring members, jo(e), wrote yesterday about a trip she and her sisters are taking overseas with their parents, to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Many other RevGals are headed for the Festival of Homiletics in the coming week (click here for information on a RevGals meetup!!). In honor of these upcoming trips, herewith your Grand Tour Friday Five.

Name five places that fall into the following categories:

1) Favorite Destination -- someplace you've visited once or often and would gladly go again

2) Unfavorite Destination -- someplace you wish you had never been (and why)

3) Fantasy Destination -- someplace to visit if cost and/or time did not matter

4) Fictional Destination -- someplace from a book or movie or other art or media form you would love to visit, although it exists only in imagination

5) Funny Destination -- the funniest place name you've ever visited or want to visit

Let us know in comments if you play. And for even more visits to your blog, post a direct link in your comment using the following formulation:
<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>
For a complete how-to, click here.

Ask the Matriarch — When Things Fall Apart

A couple in my church have been married more than 30 years. This past Christmas the wife discovered that the husband was cheating on her with another married woman. Despite her best efforts and 3 months of therapy, it turns out he is still cheating (even as they are in marriage counseling) and he wants to end their marriage. The wife, obviously, is devastated, in spite of the fact that they haven't really been happy for most of their marriage.

The wife has called on me for extensive pastoral care, which I have gladly provided. Is it possible now for me to be a pastor to the husband? Does that responsibility fall to the (male) senior pastor? How can we care for this family without taking sides? Also, the husband and I are both musicians who have been working on a piece to offer in worship in July--I'm not sure how that can continue to work either without one or both of us feeling extremely awkward, especially because he plans to continue to live in the house, and she refuses to give up her home, until things are fully decided and finalized — so there must be some communication going on about what's happening at church, right? Ack! Help!

From our matriarchs:

“AWKWARD.” “ACK! is right!” “Messy!”
…and, perhaps most importantly, “Pray!”

Each of the matriarchs had a somewhat different (but overlapping) perspective, so I’ll let each of them speak in turn. Overwhelmingly, they say don’t take sides, don’t bite off more than you can chew, don’t take on roles you’re not qualified for.

They also say that there are some factors that can vary wildly but are very important to consider—how much the congregation has become involved (voluntarily or no), whether there are children involved (even grown).

Some said it was imperative to step back and be neutral. Others said that the husband’s behavior made it impossible not to, and regardless of your own ability to be a pastor to both, you don’t want to seem like you approve of what he’s doing.

From Abi:

It doesn't sound like he has asked you up to this point to be a Pastor for him. And he may not. It may be up to you, if at all, to just go ask him, “What do you need from me as your Pastor, how do you want me to be for you as your Pastor?”

You may discuss the matter with your Senior Pastor, so you all can be clear on your Pastoral roles in this situation. It sounds like you have become empathetic with her to the point you have joined with her and don't feel you can Pastor him and perhaps can't even play this musical piece with him. However, that can cause a big triangle of Man the Persecutor, Woman the victim, and you the Rescuer. Then you are no longer the Pastor.

The taking sides thing happens in divorce, and particularly at church. One spouse usually ends up losing the church. I know it’s hard for you, but your job as Pastor is to not take sides. It may be harder yet in that the woman has called on you so much and it sounds like you have begun to identify with her. This man still needs God in his life, even though his behavior says otherwise.

You can offer Pastoral Care with limits for this woman, but it sounds like she is at a point she needs her own therapist and perhaps resources on how to handle the end of a marriage; you may be able to point her toward such resources. Pay attention to your own feelings. Have someone you are debriefing with, and processing with. Keep the Senior informed and in tune with what you have done or doing. Get permission to talk with their Counselor and find out what the counselor thinks is the best way you all can offer Pastoral Care, and that you all can be working with the therapist and visa versa. Both of you Pastors may want to make a Pastoral call to help them with this process as Pastors and church members.

From Ann:

My first concern is about giving extensive pastoral care to one party. In the Episcopal Church, after three sessions you bundle them off to a professional. Talk to the man and find out if this music piece can be worked on and performed in a professional manner. Being a pastor is different from being a pastoral care person who is involved in marriage counseling. Pastoring IMO is setting boundaries on your relationship with each partner and not getting enmeshed with their marriage issues at this point. Offering equal care is important. Letting each know they are still valued members whether married or divorced. Be a welcoming place for them in this time.

As to taking sides, stay out of that morass, keep your thoughts to yourself about what they should do. Another important thing to consider is that if they get back together, they will not be mad at you for having taken sides. Plus, modeling not taking sides is good for the congregation to see.

Singing Owl:

There are always two sides to the story, but it appears that the husband is (at the very least) being unethical. There's quite a list, obviously. Adultery, deceit, continuing the affair even during counseling—which indicates a lack of desire to change. I think it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to really be a pastor to the husband. Does the senior pastor know what is happening?

I think for the husband to move on in the church as if nothing is amiss is not reasonable nor realistic, and someone needs to have a very frank talk with him. This makes me think of I Corinthians where Paul chastises the church for continuing in fellowship with a man engaging in what is clearly sinful behavior as if nothing is wrong. He gets pretty harsh about it. The church is doing the husband no favor in the long run if he is not confronted with his need to repent for the adultery, if nothing else. He adds insult to injury for the wife by cheating on her repeatedly and then not having enough understanding or compassion to spare her his presence in their house.

Can he just live in his home, continue the affair, play music, come to church and move on? I think not, but that is another reason the senior pastor needs to be involved. This is not, let's face it, Christian behavior. There are a boat load of issues, no doubt, but the first one is his relationship to God.

Jacque:

I hope the "other married woman" and her husband are not also in the congregation! At times we have to be pastor to both and must do so with the the clearest of boundaries and integrity. Regardless of who gives pastoral care to the husband, it is important for you and the senior pastor to communicate about the situation. It is important to avoid any sense of one of the pastors supporting the wife and the other supporting the husband. That, in and of itself, can leave the impression that the two of you (pastors) are taking sides.

Very often divorcing couples are not able to continue worshiping and serving comfortably in the same congregation. It will be interesting to see if they are still doing so by July. I would discuss the music situation openly with the husband.

St. Casserole:

You are not an attorney who takes sides in a case. As pastor you are responsible for all those in your care. You may not like them or feel sympathetic but you are a pastor. You are an advocate for the health of both the wife's and husband's soul.

If your senior pastor wishes to be the primary pastoral care person for the husband, this is fine.

If you let the husband know that you think he is a stinker, then where is the mercy? You can't take away his adulterous history but you may be able to offer a good word about a faithful future. He deserves ministry, too.

Having said all this, when you are surrounded with rotten church people who you love as Christ's own but who make you feel nauseated, try not to fuss at yourself. Not all of Christ's own are appealing people. Go for a brisk walk. Find a tree stump and hit the stump with a hammer. Scrub out your refrigerator. Do something to get the anger out then return to work asking God to show you the blessing.

RevHoney:

One person can almost never be pastor to two divorcing parties, especially in the type of situation you are describing. In a team setting like yours, it would be natural for each of them to gravitate toward one of the two of you. You don't have to take sides publicly, but these individuals will be best served if they are not both relying on you for pastoral care.

Nearly every situation like this that I have ever seen has resulted in one or the other (or both) spouse leaving the congregation and finding another place to worship. This is not because I as the pastor suggested it: it simply became uncomfortable for both of them to remain in the same community of faith. It is hard for the rest of the community to know how to care for them.

I don't know about the nature of your faith community, but were this to happen in the one I serve, working with the husband on a joint music piece in July might be construed by some as your tacit approval of his actions. You may not intend to communicate that by your musical collaboration, but I would be surprised if the wife didn't see it that way.

How about you? Have you ever had this happen in your ministry? How did you handle it? Any happy endings?

Wednesday Festival - Hump Day

photo: http://blog.heathersloane.com/


Happy Wednesday, All!

Gord is musing about a proposal that will come to his Conference Annual meeting in a couple of weeks. Fascinating stuff for us bloggers!

Christine at Abbey of the Arts has invited us to her 18th Poetry Party...submit a poem by Friday, and be entered into a drawing to receive a prize!

Sally brings us an alternative look at Psalm 23 and shares Pentecost re-told for children.

What are you writing and thinking about this week? Please share in the comments! If you'll link, we'll try to come visit! Here's how: <a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>