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Saturday, July 24, 2010

11th Hour Preacher Party: from the sublime to the ridonkulous

Among the favorite made-up words at my house: ridonkulous, boofus (boob+doofus, coined by my middle child), craptastic and my own favorite, craptacular. Tomorrow, for lectionary preachers, contains words ranging from "How can I read that in church?!?!?!!!" to "How can I possibly find something new to say about *that*?!?!!" with a stop in between for Sodom and Gomorrah. (The latter for no reason making me think of the "Sobbin' Women" in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," a completely unrelated ancient tale, which might be easier to preach.)

All in all, it makes Colossians look good. Which is saying something.

So, my first thought is coffee. Want some? Or tea?

Preachers, you are welcome to share thoughts, first and last, ideas for a children's message preferably NOT including an egg and a scorpion, and goodies both virtual and real. At my house there is fresh banana bread (really, I made it myself with help from my 15 year old), and Toll House pie. After a trip to the Farmer's Market, I will be back with tomatoes for our lunchtime sandwiches.  Let us know what's going on where you are today and keep those comments coming!

76 comments:

  1. I thank God in all my prayers that this is VBS Sunday where I serve and that our greatest challenge will be the inclusion of meerkats and zebras in the context of worship. My prayers for those who are preaching from the lectionary this week! I have fresh peaches and cinnamon walnut bread to share...

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  2. I'm about half done with that "what new can I say about that?" sermon. But, with 3 funerals in two weeks, maybe it's not a week for something new, anyway.

    I haven't started with the children's message, but thank you for reminding me to avoid the egg and the scorpion.

    I'm about half done, and sadly not as focused as I should be, but focusing on the verbs of the Lord's prayer, Give/Forgive/Save us....the simple basic.

    I had a title long ago "Pray All Ways." At the time, I was thinking, "even with our actions."

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  3. The verse that is resonating with me this week is Colossians 2:17 These are only a shadow of what is to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. That and the beginning - living your life in thanksgiving.

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  4. Is there anything creepier than scorpions? Eek.

    I'm with Diane on a "what new?" sermon on the Luke passage. I'm skipping the Lord's prayer part, mostly, and just talking about prayer. It's a recycle from '04 (I've been preaching *that* long???). Needs some work, though.

    But, this is my fourth supply week in a row, and I've decided that's too many in a row, what with the two babies at home. Hubby has a wedding this afternoon, and we all four will attend one tonight.

    Blessings to all the sermonizing. And I can't wait for the tomatoes, Songbird--tomato season is already over here, as it's too hot.

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  5. I'm not sure people in my neck of the woods would recognize a scorpion, esperanza.
    Tomorrow is my last sermon at Y1P and quite possibly my last as an interim minister. (If all goes well I'll have something more permanent to announce within the week.) I'm preaching the gospel passage as an example of a spiritual legacy. The Lord's Prayer, for some of us, is almost taken for granted. What's the purpose of a repeated prayer or a repeated phrase? They tie us to other times and places, have been passed along to us as meaningful connections to God. What will we leave behind for others as the church of today? And what do I hope to leave behind with them? I have a particular word pair in mind for that last part.
    The last time I preached there, a month ago, I talked about moving forward, so this is a bit of an epilogue.
    I know there will be a lot of questions about where I'm going next, and I'm not sure whether it's good or bad that the timing doesn't allow a public announcement this Sunday.

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  6. Just chatting with a friend of mine who's going to use a whole series of knock-knock jokes in the all-age talk... as a way of talking about Jesus' 'silly/ funny' story about the person who just kept knocking on the door. She'll note that:
    1/ person is knocking on the door of a friend...
    2/ so there's a relational context as opposed to just 'cold calling'
    3/ Jesus is therefore saying that in a similar way God's our friend and doesn't mind being pestered.

    Snakes, fish and scorpions probably won't be making much of an appearance :)

    I'm off this week and get to play with my thesis [argh!]- but back in the pulpit on the following two Sundays... and then a bit of a worship hiatus while I concentrate on the academic more fully!

    I've a bag of caramel crispy mini-bites to share... and coffee's on the go

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  7. our candidate for Head of Staff is preaching here this weekend....AND doing the children's time...and we're singing the prayers of the people...so my entire task this weekend is to make announcements, collect joys and concerns, and look pretty.

    Or something like that.

    I'll be thinking of all of you this weekend!

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  8. As I posted on Tuesday, I find this week's gospel challenging. I'm torn between tackling the Lord's Prayer or the second part of the gospel ...

    Someone sent me this article on the Lord's Prayer: which has some good thoughts.

    A couple of people in my congregation were upset when I used the phrase, "God, our Father and Mother" a few weeks ago--for these folks that was "unbiblical"--yeah, I know--and I'm a little tempted to talk about what it means to address God as "parent"and why mother is appropriate, but not sure I'm going there....at least this week. We'll see.

    My parish is in a residential neighborhood, and next Sunday we're inviting the whole neighborhood to a picnic after church so I need to do some publicity work on that today, too. Not sure what the turnout will be like. When I had been here a couple of months I heard that some people in this area referred to this church as the "dead church on the hill" and we are working hard to dispel that image!

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  9. the dead church on the hill, wow.

    prayers for your evangelism opportunity, Rev DrMom.

    It's interesting, at the service for a stillborn baby that I did this week, two of the liturgical phrases were:

    As a father has compassion for this children, so you have compassion for those who fear you, O Lord. "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you," says your God."

    No one said anything about it.

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  10. I have a lot of words on paper (or a word.doc) and all of the words are intended to be a sermon...but I'm not sure, at all, that that is what it is.

    And I have too any distractions to sort through those words and see if any sense can be made of it.

    so yeah, ridonklous.

    or.

    boofus

    or probably,
    craptastic.

    I'm going to the gym and then between rain storms, a dog walk.

    then I'll try and make sense of it all.

    or.

    not.

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  11. esperanza, re scorpions - no. nothing more. ick.

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  12. Nik, that is a great suggestion. Diane, so interesting how much of a role context plays, in contrast with Rev. Dr. Mom's experience.
    I'm wishing I had an old sermon on these texts to at least read, but I'm pretty sure they fell during vacation in '04 and '07. Not that I want to use an old one, it's just that reading them could be useful.

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  13. RevDrMom, I read your people's complaint as "uMbilical" not "unbiblical."

    Hmm.

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  14. I am not preaching this week. I really AM trying to figure out what it means to be retired!

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  15. There are some occasions when I turn in 2 scriptures instead of 1 for the bulletin ... to give me options. So, over a month ago, when I couldn't pick just one, I turned in 2. I still haven't picked just one. So, it's either Luke or Colossians or both. At this point I'm thankful for the baptism that will let me be brief with the sermon.

    And vacation sounds like a great idea.

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  16. Hey folks,

    Feeling a bit woozy today, probably the heat getting to me. Just sat down to work on my sermon on the Lord's prayer.

    For the children's sermon I'm going to ask what prayers do you know and who taught them to you.

    On to the sermonation process.

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  17. Hey folks,

    Feeling a bit woozy today, probably the heat getting to me. Just sat down to work on my sermon on the Lord's prayer.

    For the children's sermon I'm going to ask what prayers do you know and who taught them to you.

    On to the sermonation process.

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  18. Vicar, that was very smart. In my current-for-one-more-week setting, we turn in the scriptures and title far in advance,so I am working with what I picked six weeks ago (better than six months ago, which happened at other times of the year).
    G_G, we've made it all the way to 77 here, and that's supposed to be the high for the day. My husband has gone canoeing with his BFF, and I am a bit envious. It would be nice to be out on the water when the weather is so nice.

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  19. Hello everyone. Hope things are coming along for those who are preaching!

    I'm tackling prayer with a two-pronged approach of Luke and Genesis...and actually was doing some reading yesterday that got me really excited about the Abraham and God story...so maybe I'll focus on that. This text fell during my vacation three years ago, so I am actually getting excited about preaching it.

    Hopefully I can cash in on that excitement and get DONE so I can finish preparation for our council retreat tomorrow...that one's going to be trickier.

    I have fresh blueberries, soon to feature in pancakes, for sharing!

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  20. Ever get the feeling you preached on 'this' but aren't sure when or where? Since "prayer" comes up often, I'm going to try to say something different from whatever I said when and where. ugh.
    Anyway, it's July 25 and I like to take occasion to celebrate Christmas in July. We will begin with singing O come all ye faithful and hope it cools us off just imagining the snow. heat index is already over 100 today and could read 110. yuk, i'm staying in this nice cool downstairs office as long as I can.

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  21. Checking in to see how it's going, anyone ready for pie?
    I have an opening for my sermon, which is good news.

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  22. SB, I'm glad you have good news on the horizon. Good news today could be a completed sermon for me. I have things to do and birthdays of friends to celebrate tonight and don't want to be back here late late late, still writing...

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  23. I'm ready for pie! Though I should probably work on my sermon first ...

    I've been better lately about finishing my sermons or least getting them half done before the weekend, so this weekend feels especially difficult as I stare at a blank page on the screen.

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  24. I'm getting a really late start today. My daughter had a crisis and was on the verge of making a monumentally stupid decision. Sorry, that's the only way to put it.

    So now I have a couple of hours before we go to a friend's for dinner and a sermon and bullentin inserts to create. Come Holy Spirit, come!!!! At least I have a rough idea of what I want to write.

    Speaking of egg and scorpion...how about those commercials where the adult gives a good thing to one kid and a not so good thing to the other - it's from some bank I think. The tag line is "even a kid knows its wrong....(to whatever the event in the commerical was). It might be useful as a children's sermon.

    I only have time for PBJ for lunch, but I'm willing to share.

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  25. Blueberries, peaches, pie...I really don't see the need to do anything else! My neighbor has tomatoes and nectarines, too. Think I could just serve fresh produce at sermon time and call it a day? Perhaps not...

    Songbird, prayers for whatever changes occur in the week to come. Diane, 3 funerals in 2 weeks is exhausting :-o Teri, enjoy your easy day!

    I've been outside helping my son tend to a garage sale that is mostly his toys and thus mostly his profit. Heading toward noon now and time for a break.

    I, too, am doing the knock knock jokes for the intro at the family service. I'm going to talk about prayer being like knocking on God's door, then we will take time for some free-form prayers, silently or aloud, inviting each person to knock on the wooden pew as they offer a prayer. When we get to the more formal prayers of the people, I'll also ask them to knock with each response of "Hear our prayer."

    For the other two services, I'm picking up on an excellent Working Preacher article on this bit of Jesus's teaching being more about the relationship of prayer than the mechanics. I am not feeling very inspired, so we'll see what happens.

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  26. tomorrow I am exchanging pulpits with the Methodist Church across the street from us. So in some ways I was glad for the first part of the Gospel reading, to be able to focus on spiritual development. It's not the particular words that you pray, but THAT you pray. The sermon is titled "A Prayerful Conversation"

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  27. Fresh veggies and fruit instead of a sermon? Why didn't I think of that? It would fit, we 're singing "Give thanks" so dig in and be done. who would complain, seriously?

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  28. Pie made me sleepy, so I took a little nap. Must get back to work now!

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  30. Let's try that again!

    About five minutes before a memorial service at my old parish this morning, the rector there asked me if I had tomorrow's sermon ready. And once I had answered him, I knew that I did indeed know what I wanted to say. So here it is. Comments welcome as always.

    I have corn on the cob and baked sweet potatoes on tap for later. I might round it out with an english muffin topped with cinnamon cream honey for dessert. Y'all come.

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  31. How is it possible to have 3 pages of writing and no sermon yet? Arrrrgh!

    Hubby just got home and turned the produce from the farmer's market into a veggie tray.

    Fresh veggies anyone?

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  32. I'm back after 1)gym - hard work out 2)dog walk 3)lunch 4)an errand. And I think I need a nap before I can even look at those words that might become a sermon.

    SB - prayers for day tomorrow. It is also the last day for my friend M2 who heads west next week for her new call.

    and I'm pleased to say that since we've moved back to the Midwest, NO SCORPIONS. nope. not a one.

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  33. Argh. At ~750 words (or almost 3/4 way done by word count) I'm not liking where I'm going very much. Time to regroup, I guess.

    It's HOT here, but I was still hoping to get outside a bit. Not looking like it's going to happen.

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  34. Margaret, I really like your sermon; you did a great job explaining Hosea and then bringing it together with Luke. I also thought your expansion of the Lord's Prayer was spot on; if it works into my sermon, would you mind if I borrowed it (either with attribution by name or as "a colleague")?

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  35. Okay, so I really was going to write, but then I got distracted...by the tornado warning. Yikes. It expires in six minutes though, so I think we're in the clear.

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  36. Never mind, they just extended it to 5:30 pm.

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  37. Just got back from the garden. Harvested lots of cucumbers beans and lettuce. Would you like some fresh salad?

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  38. Well, I'm still not preaching yet - back in the pulpit Aug 22 - so I haven't looked at the Scriptures you all are walking with today. I do, however, have 3 kids napping and a belly full of "leftover" homemade chocolate buttercream frosting. That seemed sinful enough that I should probably do something productive to balance it out. Decided to look at the late summer/fall lectionary passages and see where I might head once I do get back. Good to see you all!!!

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  39. Betsy - - I LOVE the pew knocking. Really cool.

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  40. Well, I have enough words - I just need to edit and cut into a coherent sermon. And then write the bullentin inserts for the community prayer for the next three weeks until the congregational vote.

    Time for dinner with friends. I guess I can go and relax.

    Still, it's going to be a late night. Just as well - it will be too hot to sleep until the wee hours of the morning. Working on my sermon will give me a reason to stay in the coolest part of the house.

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  41. Whatever tiny bit of interest I may have had in writing my sermon (aside from the desire to experience the relief of having the process finished) appears to have gotten up and walked away, because I am at zero now. Playing solitaire, surfing the web--you all have some great websites!--and eating, mixed with a bit of dozing off in front of the computer are all more enticing.

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  42. alright...so I am not the only one sweating because of the heat...and struggling with sermonizing. Thank you to Nik (I think) for the knock knock jokes...LOVE IT. I might have some kids in church tomorrow, so want to be ready.

    GG--yes, please, salad from your garden sounds lovely.

    SB--any of that pie left??

    Got. to. get. focused. NOW.

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  43. oh, and SB--that spiritual legacy thought is where I was going, except not as elegantly put as you did it. I have never been a fan of the Lord's prayer for a really long time, until 9.11, when the the phone operator was speaking to the person on one of the flights and they said the Lord's prayer together, and it was comfort. I am going to put that in there, somewhere.

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  44. Just chiming in to say that I'm lonely (not personally, just as a preacher), and wish I could join in the lectionary conversation. I've been off-lectionary for a year, and have decided to commit to going back on full-time in December, for weekends like this when I want to share the conversation on a common text. That is what the lectionary is for, right?

    The sermon is moving fine, continuing a summer-long series on the Sermon on the Mount. Just joining for company...

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  45. SheRev, good to see you!
    forthesomedaybook, you are welcome to be here, lectionary or not.
    I fixed dinner for the first time in many days, and it was good, and I feel like a better person for doing it, but it did not get me any further on the sermon than where I was before my nap. Aargh!!!

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  46. It seems that dark chocolate may have done the trick and these words I've put on "paper" have sorted out into a sermon, Prayer Is?

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  47. And yes, there is still pie!! Also vanilla ice cream! And Redi-Whip!

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  48. Lectionary or not, preaching or not, it's always fun to hang out here because of all the delicious food...and no calories :-)

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  49. Not preaching this week as we have our annual Garden Tour Worship (we start at one church, go to a parishioner's beautiful garden, then finish up at another church for outdoor lunch in our memorial garden). Along the way, we pray, we sing, we hear the Word. It's a great way to celebrate worship in a different way. After four years, it's definitely a tradition that we all look forward to each year.

    Blessings on all of you who are preaching tomorrow.

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  50. Sermon is done. Please stop by and hear my most embarassing moment involving The Prayer That Jesus Taught/

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  51. Hello preacher-friends!

    I've been busy doing all kinds of non-sermonating today since it's not my turn tomorrow. But I am up for the children's sermon. LOVE the knock-knock ideas you gals have going and will probably do something similar.

    I have lots of chocolate stuff to share since I have been feeling sorry for myself - have been grounded with achilles tendinosis and a possible stress fracture and am wearing an oh-so-sexy boot. It's going to look fab with my robe tomorrow! Anyway, I am dosing myself with ibuprofen and chocolate, and I have plenty of both to share.

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  52. I have half a sermon! Is that better than none? If you knocked on my door and asked me for a sermon, and I told you I was in bed with my kitties, but gave you half a sermon, would that be better than a scorpion?
    (It's possible I'm running on fumes here.)

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  53. I'd hold out for the pie ;-)

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  54. I've got a draft! I'm not sure I like the way it ends, so I'm not going to blog it just yet, but I will print it out and play around with it.
    After pie.

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  55. This sermon isn't really what I set out to write, but here's what I've got.

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  56. And yes, I'd love a piece of pie!

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  57. After an emergency run for bulletin paper, I have a sermon that I mostly like...I just need an ENDING...argh sometimes this is the hardest part! I suppose I should just be glad I'm ahead of my usual schedule.

    Blueberry pancakes will have to wait for another day...no time to cook tonight. Still have to finish preparing for council retreat too.

    Enough complaining. Fortunately the tornado missed us, and for that I am thankful. And I would love some pie, thank you!

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  58. So I am part of the party and yet not.
    My modem died in the midst of moving and it seemed silly to try and get one for the last three days or so in the manse.
    So, here I am at church trying to finish up.
    I will be up a while. I did the big move today and will clean and live sparingly. But, what a pain. After modem died, I manged to FORGET that when I unplueed the big tv in the den that the little one would no longer have dish support and now I cannot get teh little one to hook up in the other spot. Something a bout the two not being able to "talk" to each other for it to work.
    Soooo. I am dead tired with no tv and no net and a sermon to finish.
    Normally I would have it on for background noise.
    Anyhow, will print in the AM from church and just make do. Ready to get it over with though, so I can step into somehting new.
    Got turned down for another job today, but at least they did contact me. I have a number of churches that do not acknowledge my
    having sent anything at all.This is maddening and frustrating.
    But, that is for another day. I hope to have some new posts once i am settled, including a letter that can only be shared with y'all/ :)
    Blessings on your worship prep and your worship.
    1-4 G

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  59. children's message? anyone?

    sermon's done, but not posting until tomorrow. too much to do.

    it needs to be a really really easy children's message.

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  60. Home rather later than I expected to be from our friends. Good dinner and wonderful conversation and a fabulous chocolate concoction for dessert!

    But still no final draft of the sermon. I find I'm distracted by my daughter's latest crisis, and the news that we will need to vacate our seminary housing earlier than expected along with the call committee's blithe information that with vacations and all, they can't meet to decide on a second interview until the
    31st! Don't they understand that I need a job, my son needs to get enrolled in school and we need to know that we have a place to live before we need to move out!

    And now I have to preach on trusting God for daily bread!! Boy, do I know how hard it is to have that kind of trust. Maybe I'm preaching to me this week.

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  61. 1-4, how stinky! I'm so sorry. Thinking of you tonight.
    And Ramona, that's very frustrating. Searches are hard!

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  62. I thought I'd check in on you fabulous preachers--I stole some amazing homemade fudge from a birthday party and brought it for you! and no, I did NOT have two glasses of lovely wine at said party on a Saturday night. definitely not. ;-)

    Well, I think I've practiced looking pretty so, since that's all I have to do tomorrow...I'm going to blog about fireflies and music (at different blogs) and then go to bed early. I'll leave the fudge on the counter...make sure to eat it so it doesn't melt overnight (or tempt the kitties)!!!

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  63. So...um...yeah...anybody got any great suggestions for a Scripture reading to give purpose and direction to a council retreat?

    Anyone? Bueller?

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  64. Okay, I didn't really stop working. I just changed my base of operations. After moving things around and making various deletions and one major addition, I think I have something. Here it is.

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  65. 1-4 Grace? Your life is mine. Or at least a close replica of it. And for that I am really sorry...No one should have to go through this. The search process is so exhausting and discouraging...sigh. Prayers for you.many many...

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  66. 1-4 Grace, I am so so sorry. I'm getting a few: "we don't have very many openings in our synod right now" kind of letters.

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  67. Back from the wedding, which was loads of fun. The hour-long ride home with a screaming baby is, well, over now.

    Need to look at this sermon, get two diaper bags packed, and all of those other eleventy things that need to happen before I go to bed. Focus, focus, focus.

    Thanks for the pie--we had to leave before the cake cutting.

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  68. Done! Is it still Saturday? Oh well - at least it is finally cool enough to sleep.

    Anyone else still out there?

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  69. Ramona, I'm here!

    I hate it when I have no motivation for sermon writing.

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  70. I'm here too, though I'd love to think I won't be for long. It may be a shorter than usual sermon, because I've said what I want to say; to add more would be to tack on another half a sermon, one of my pet peeves in other's preaching.

    Alas, I'm not even inspired to find a conclusion :-o

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  71. Done with the sermon, finally! I just had to say "Amen" already and be done with it. :)

    Now trying to do the last bit of prep for the retreat. At least we have an opening worship. Let's hope the rest comes soon!

    Ramona and Vicar, good to have you here on the night shift. :)

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  72. semfem, I'm right behind you. Just finished printing everything. I'm off to bed.

    Blessings on your Sunday

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  73. Okay, I'm closing down the computer. Just have to make a few lists of things on large sheets of paper and I will be all set. Glad it looks like everyone got done...I hope...?

    Blessings on all pondering, preaching, and proclamation this day.

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  74. I've been out of town since Thursday. Sermon outlined early in the week and partially typed on plane (until headache set in). Up at 2 a.m., so reviewed, revised, and finished typing. Now to print and back to bed. Midnight snack - brownies.

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  75. So sorry Ramona, MP, and SB and all others in the search proces. It is sucky for sure.
    And, the tough part is, I like where I am. But being called a interim puts me in the cannot take job category.
    Anyhow, sermon doen. I slept late today, but did not worry much. Like there is nothing for me to do here.
    Cats were anxious about breakfast!
    And now, showtime!
    Hugs to all!

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