This month's review is by Carol Howard Merritt, pastor, writer and RevGal extraordinaire- known to many as the speaker from the Big Event 4.0 and the author of Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation and Reframing Hope: Vital Ministry in a New Generation.
Disrupted by Julie Anderson Love
This is, on one level, a very extraordinary story. In Disrupted: On Fighting Death and Keeping Faith, Julie Anderson Love battles a
brain tumor, something that most of us will not have to undergo, especially in
the third decade of life. Love moves us with medical accuracy, spiritual
awareness, and emotional depth through the painstaking decisions and healing.
On another level, however, Love’s story is an ordinary one.
She is an Associate Pastor, she clashes with the Interim Senior Pastor, and he
retaliates. Let me sound the spoiler alert here—if you have not read the book
and want all of it to be a mystery, you can stop reading.
The heart of our discussion resides in the fact that the
church fired Love while she was fighting for her life. Yes, you read that
correctly. They took away her insurance and her livelihood while she had a
brain tumor. When they should have been bringing her casseroles, flowers, and
cards crafted by Sunday school children, they brought her a pink slip.
When Love’s pastoral counselor recounted the devastation
that she had been through that year, he was pretty sure that the brain tumor
was less traumatic than the church letting her go in the midst of it all. I
kept turning the pages, thinking, She’s not supposed to be talking
about this.
As stark and traumatic as Love’s story is, what’s even more
difficult is that we hear about this stuff happening all of the time. Something
similar has probably happened to many of our dear readers. When it does, we are
told to be quiet, gloss over it, and move on as quickly as possible. Most of us
do. Then we try to negotiate a new job, entering another church, becoming a chaplain,
or dropping out of the clergy ranks altogether. Keeping quiet is usually the
wisest thing to do, but does all of this playing nice help in the long run?
I don’t think so. I mean, it helps in our particular
circumstance (and looking after yourself is the most important thing in these
devastating situations). The opportunities for secure employment increase when
we don’t make much of a fuss.
But how does it help clergywomen in general when we
constantly cover up the sins of our congregations in order for us to come out
less scathed?
We all know stories that make us shudder--women who have
been sexually harassed, fired without cause, or paid unfairly. How can we
communicate these narratives and still protect our careers? Can we find
creative ways to be able to break the silence that so often enshrouds our
positions?
Reading this book made me thankful that Julie Anderson Love
was able to break through that code of silence under which we work. She didn’t
try to make herself or her position more spiritual or perfect than she was. She
told her story, with courage and honesty. She did not shy away from all of
those secrets that we often have to keep. And for that, we all owe her.
Thank you, Carol, for this review of a book that courageously tells the truth about a life that, as you say, we know too well but don't talk about.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that happens in some safe clergy (usually women clergy) gatherings is that the real stories are sometimes told with that awareness that there is so much that our congregations don't know, even about what they are doing!
Is the "code of silence" ultimately helpful to ministry and to the church? Is the silence we keep serving a greater purpose than would be served by telling the truth more openly? I'd like to hear from some RevGals on this.
Even with whatever spoilers there may be in your review, Carol, you have enticed me to want to read this to see how she did it!
She did it in the same way we would do at our safe clergy gatherings--but with more eloquence. It's well worth the read!
ReplyDelete"There is so much that our congregations don't know, even about what they are doing!" --so true...
I was just talking to a friend last night about an incident in the church. She asked if I told her all the details and I said no, some of the details have to be saved until I'm on BE5, in international waters, with a drink in my hand. That awareness of holding things back always hangs in the back of my mind. I'm very excited to read this book and be apart of Love's truth-revelation.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky enough to know Julie and her family. (Her spouse is on the faculty of the seminary where I studied.) I did not know this aspect of her story, but her courage and grace do not surprise me.
ReplyDeleteI too, have struggled with how to tell my story. Not sure mine is ready for publication yet. Maybe never will be.
I'm too overwhelmed to comment on this, given my current circumstances. I just feel kind of generally ill, reading it and thinking: Where were the casseroles ???? (metaphorically speaking)
ReplyDeleteIt's just sick-making, Robin. I guess I need to read this book.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a book I need to get hold of - thanks for the review!
ReplyDeleteIt can be very difficult knowing when to speak up in circumstances such as these. Not that any of the circumstances that I have found myself in over the last few years are anything like that of Love, I still struggle. If I speak up, I risk being accused of being 'power-seeking' or hearing 'this is exactly why women shouldn't be in Ministry' - but if I keep quiet - nothing will ever be challenged and corrected. It is frustrating!
I too am saddened by the response of the church in this particular situation - where are the casseroles? - exactly!!
Jo
www.joroyal.blogspot.com
This resonated with me on so many levels. The church must begin to peel away the layers of abuse and misconduct towards its people (especially female clergy). It simply must.
ReplyDeletewow. yes. I guess I need to read this book, too.
ReplyDeleteCasseroles don't come. Support comes in the form of "you need to take time off - to assess..." and yes, I need to post this anonymously.
ReplyDelete