RevGalBookPals: Sabbath in the Suburbs

Today we have a guest review by long-time RevGal Beth Birkholz, who blogs here. Her mini-bio: Pastor at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Marietta, GA.

Mama to M and J, Wife of S.  Suburban farmer, runner, and yogi.

She offers the following review of RevGal MaryAnn McKibben Dana's Sabbath in the Suburbs, which will be released in just 6 short days (September 30th). 

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On the same day in which I received “Sabbath in the Suburbs,” I also received a notification that a book on my digital library list was ready for download, after a multiple-month wait.  I don’t want to slam that book….let’s just say that it involved a Project about Happiness.  It was well-reviewed and raved about by critics, and I was excited to read it personally and as a theologian.

I never made it all the way through that book, because I was busy getting practical suggestions about the happiness of myself and my family from MaryAnn McKibben Dana.  Whatever chord I was hoping that would be struck by the first book was far and away hit perfectly by “Sabbath.”

The author and I both have young-ish children, although mine are a bit older.  She embarks on an initiative of Sabbath-keeping throughout one year, springing from time at Iona, Scotland (from what I’ve heard from her and others, one of the “thin” places where God is a little more visible and present).  I mentioned this book to a Sunday School class of young parents, and their reaction was the same as mine: “Oh no.  There is NO FREAKIN WAY.”  That’s an actual quote.

I think we are all tempted to think the same thing when we read about Dana’s ambitious project: to set aside 24 hours (or so) for doing…..nothing.  Or a little something, but no hardcore cooking, no picking up socks, no errands.  Games are okay and some TV, but mostly to set aside the time to just BE, as a family.  My first thought was the same as hers: I’m a PASTOR. How am I supposed to set aside weekend time for this, when I have precious little as it is?

MaryAnn McKibben Dana addresses this concern: “This is why Sabbath is becoming important o my family.  On one day a week, I don’t need to be organized…on one day we simply get to be…and maybe engage in a monster tickle fight with our kids. And in doing so, we make a statement of faith: the tickle fight is as vital as our work is—perhaps even more so.”

Every concern I had, every snarky comment in my mind, she addresses them in the book in a way that shows me she struggled with them too and came out in a place where the Sabbath is still gifting her and her family with something that is worth every bit of the struggle.  I am hoping to use this book as a point of discussion with that same Sunday School class, to help us to view this commandment as they all are; something GOOD for us.

At the end of the book, I was so satisfied with where she ends up, and will end up referring back to this book if I dare take on this project.  After reading it, I cannot think of Sabbath in the same way.  It IS do-able, even for a pastor mama of two or three who is married and has a house to clean (what blessings! She is not unaware of this either).  And it’s do-able precisely because God gives us freedom.  She writes,

“True freedom, it seems, comes from participating in a particular pattern of life that seems restricting but is actually life-giving.”

Will my family engage in a Sabbath project?  The excuses are already crowding into my brain.  My kids are older.  We already take enough time away from them by being pastors on weekends.  Etc.  Etc.  But I can definitely move into what Dana describes as a Sabbath state of mind, even if it’s only for a few hours, an afternoon, a day.  The work of the Sabbath is life-giving, and MaryAnn McKibben Dana’s work on this book was life-giving and hopeful to this pastor mom in the suburbs.

Ask the Matriarch - Intentional Sabbath Taking Edition

Well, for the second week in a row, we have no questions in the Ask the Matriarch queue.

So, before you read any further...please think of a ministry question that has been nagging at you, and send it to us at askthematriarch@gmail.com

Now that you've sent us a question, here's a two-part question on intentional sabbath-taking:

Do you consistently observe a non-workday/Sabbath for yourself?

How do you experience refreshment, renewal, and/or communion with God on your Sabbath day?

Muthah+ was the first to respond:

I think I tried to take a non-workday Sabbath for myself. I would work on Mondays and take Fridays off. For extroverts like me, I am energized by Sunday and want to start my week with the energy being with the assembled Body of Christ on Sunday. I hit Monday running. For folks who are enervated by Sunday, they need to regroup and Sabbath on Mon. However, all too often Friday ended up having a wedding rehersal or something that took me back to church or office on my sabbath.

It was when I was working part-time that I really understood how insidious the ministry can be and I began to really watch the amount of time I was giving to the parish. I found that if I over-gave to my parish the parish did not understand my realtionship with the parish and I didn't comprehend theirs. I realized that I was trying to be indespensible to them rather than providing the proper model for them to do the ministry that they needed to do. I was crippling myself with over work and crippling them by taking away what they should have been doing for themselves. I began to be resentful and so did they.

I need time to read and spend time with Scripture. It is the quiet time of study that I can find that connection with God that some might call prayer, some might just call "idle thinking'. But I know it is time for God. Is there always a connection with God at this time? No. I just make myself available. Sometimes God is there and sometimes God isn't but it doesn't take anything away from it being Sabbath time. I just need to offer it.

I am loving retirement because if I take the time and offer it, it is so rewarding. I am not becoming a contemplative--I am just learning how to rest in God.

Jennifer, who blogs at An Orientation of Heart adds some very common-sense practices to give boundaries to her Sabbath-keeping:

I try very hard to consistently observe Sabbath on Mondays, whenever possible.

I do not check voicemail or my church e-mail account.

I do not schedule meetings for Mondays nor do I attend Monday meetings if I'm not the scheduler.

I walk at our local arboretum, read for pleasure, knit and cook simple meals on Mondays.

The congregation I serve is most respectful of this.

I experience much, much refreshment from this practice.

Slowing down to hear God's voice in nature,reading without a sermon in mind and just being quiet have been powerfully spiritual for me.

It's taken me decades to get to this point, recongizing that I did not always have the freedom to take a true sabbath, but it's been worth the wait!

And from Earthchik, blogging at Earthchicknits

I have always taken Fridays off and I guard that day jealously as much as possible, while realizing that sometimes having work responsibilities that day is simply an unavoidable fact of the kind of job this is. I do a pretty good job of not taking on any kind of public ministry work that day, but the fact is that I often do the more behind-the-scenes kind (emails, work-related reading, etc.). But as much as possible, I relax, read, knit, sew, putz around the house, and do the occasional errand. My husband and I are co-pastors and we share that day off, so it's nice to have both some solitary time on that day and some time shared with each other.

While on vacation last month, my husband and I decided to make a commitment to making that day off more of a true Sabbath, and as part of that commitment we've decided to take a 24-hour break each week (sun-down the night before our day off to sun-down the night of our day off) from all screens - TV, computer, iPhone. The truth is, I fritter away a lot of my downtime online, so this is, I hope, going to be a kind of radical liberation for me. I'm nervous but excited!

And you...do you take Mondays or Fridays or another day as your Sabbath?

How do observe your day of rest and time with God?

What do you do or refrain from doing?

Use the Post a Comment function to share your insights and struggles...

And please, send us a question or two at askthematriarch@gmail.com!

May you live in God's amazing grace+

revhoney