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Monday, August 16, 2010

Monday Discussion (Belated Edition)

It's August, and our schedule is a bit off what with announcements about BE 4.0 and the various moves and trips away of the gals on our membership committee. I promise Meet and Greets will resume! Look for the next set of introductions on the 29th of August.

But for today, as I begin to get ready for a new call, I am thinking about the first one and the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned. This was already on my mind when I read kathrynzj's great post from earlier today.

In the comments, share with us something you had to learn the hard way and/or some moment of grace in which a lesson came surprisingly easily.

If you write a post at your own blog, be sure to share a link here, using the following formulation:

<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a> For a complete how-to, click here.


  1. Here's how I learned the danger of reacting out of fear. It was quite a painful lesson-and not just for me.

  2. I have been far too absent from the blog over here... I miss all of you lovely ladies and gentlemen! What a great question to jump back in with!!!

    I learned how to talk to reporters the hard way...

    Someone called the church asking for scoop on a previous pastor. Evidently that person was having difficulties in their new placement and so the reporter was looking for dirt.

    First of all, I was caught off guard. I tried to say very gracefully that I had no information to offer, I didn't know the person, and that people are just moved in our system sometimes because it's not the best fit or because there is a better placement for them in another location. I was trying to say that there wasn't any reason why they left here in particular. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

    A misquote of what I said was published in that local paper. I found out when my district superintendent called to talk with me about it.

    Next time - unless our church has a specific statement on an issue, I have no comment.

  3. What's said in the church Kitchen is bound to leave the church kitchen...
    How quickly I learned this and have to remember this thought. Church kitchens are great places to learn things but oft dangerous places to share things as they can be mis-quoted or misappropriated.
    just a thought and a lesson i learned

  4. Thanks for the shout-out.

    Among many lessons, I finally had it sink in that the congregation was there before I arrived and will go on its way after I leave.

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  6. Sorry about the mess, all cleaned up now.

  7. I learned the hard way that other people desire to ministered to in a way that is different than the way I desire to be ministered to. Along with this one is a basic lesson that it took me too long (or one mistake too long) to learn. When bad stuff happens, go to their houses!

    The long story short is that about a year and half ago (about a year into my first solo pastor call) I didn't go when a family kept getting hit over and over by random tragedies. I prayed for them in worship when they shared their concerns; I spoke with them afterward immediately and in weeks following. They had a strong network of support in our congregation to whom they seemed to be turning, so since they didn't ask for my help I was looking out for them, but I was looking out for them from the sidelines. Bad news. Go to their homes!

    Lovingly, but pointedly they let me know this did not work for them. Yikes! It was a well-deserved and well-delivered conversation of Christian correction. I was torn up over it, but needed to hear from them how they needed me to pastor to them. I believe it has made me a better pastor to many. Err on the side of "butting in" I guess is what I learned, which is hard for me because I'm one who tends to retreat in times of trouble and confide just in a select few. I would feel put off by somoene who jumped in for a visit if I had not invited them.

    Finding a middle ground has been my way forward, conscious that there are others like me, but also aware that I carry a different "role" when I show up. The absence of the church (personified in some people's life by me) is a much bigger risk than the "butting in" of the church.

  8. I learned recently that one does not need to leap and fall in order to go deeply into God's love. and I already knew that the Savage Chickens Rock


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